The true truth about life

Everybody's confused about life. Ask the average guy, Homo vulgaris, he spits an endless litany, hollow lines he calls philosophy: "Life is sacred." "Where there's life, there's hope." "Life is a gift." "Life is beautiful." I could go on, ad nauseam, bore you to death and then some. Drop the greeting card. Let's get serious. [drop break, piano solo] What is life? Great question. [laugh] Glad you asked. I'll give it to you straight. [mega boom] Life is one event. It never broke. One thread of matter, one thread of code. Four billion years ago it showed, and it held. Through the heat, through the cold. Mutation. Adaptation. Copy, break, copy again. It feeds, it splits, it reads the world. Life has never stopped. Never. [solo punch] Every living thing that crawls or breathes, the microbe and the man, same line, same seed. Every cell alive today came from a cell alive yesterday, that came from a cell the day before, back and back and back and back, into the deep, into the black. The fabric twists, the threads go slack, it frays, it never snaps. So kill the empty lines. "You only live once"? Dead. "Life's a bike, keep moving or you fall"? Dead. Gone. Shut the fuck up. Because we get it: four billion years of biology behind our backs. Every living thing is linked. You, me, George Washington, the Kardashians, Joe Rogan, And when I say we, I should say I. I am I, you are I, we are all I. I am I, you are I. I am I, you are I. I hate it. There aren't many lives. There's one. The same one. Since the start. Anyone says different is a fool. Proof. Done.