🦑 ＣＡＬＡＭＡＲＩ 🦑 ＣＡＬＡＭＩＴＹ 🦑

I think I can let the problem go now. (I haven't posted this many songs in one day for quite some time. 4.5 really made me want to do more, I guess. Gonna be more calm tomorrow.) I made this with the intention of it being the final/ultimate form of "Calamari Calamity". I loved all versions of it, but I wanted to revisit it one last time, with 4.5 being the perfect excuse to do so. Even though I enjoyed those older versions of the song, I felt like they could be better. ----------------------------------------------------------- Welcome to the end of the pier Where the sky grows dark, and the air smells... weird Something's slinking up from the deep It's got tentacles and a beak, and it’s not here to sleep Squid Squid! Squid Squid! Oh, it came from the ocean, a titan of slime A wriggling deity beyond space and time The people all screamed as it crawled to the shore Leaving chaos and ink on the city it tore Its eyes like saucers, glowing and red One glance and you’re wishing you’d stayed in bed A squid god’s gospel was spread in the streets With swarms of its spawn and a funky drum beat Squid Squid! Squid Squid! It’s a calamari calamity A tentacled catastrophe The skies are raining squids tonight We’re doomed but it’s alright It’s a calamari calamity An ink-stained monstrosity They’ll fry your mind and steal your soul But at least they’re in control Squid Squid! Squid Squid! A lady in pearls grabbed her harpoon gun But the squid god laughed, “Nice try, little one!” It juggled her boat like a toy in the breeze Then unleashed its babies to swarm like bees The mayor declared, "We must make a stand!" But a squid-baby army consumed his band While panic erupted, some folks joined the cause Worshipping squid-god’s unholy laws Squid Squid! Squid Squid! Ink’s in the gutters, it’s pooling in streams The city’s now glowing in phosphorous beams A cult is assembling, they chant and they cheer For the squid overlord who’s commandeered the pier Squid Squid! Squid Squid! “BREAKING NEWS: The local seafood festival is canceled." "Oh wait, no it’s not! It’s everywhere, folks!" “Citizens report: Flying squid babies stealing bicycles, pets, and the mayor’s hat.” “Is this the end? Or the tastiest apocalypse yet?” Squid Squid! Squid Squid! It’s a calamari calamity A tentacled atrocity The squid kids laugh as they set us alight We’re doomed but it’s alright It’s a calamari calamity An intertidal heresy Our town’s gone wild, we’ve lost control But surrender’s kinda... cool? Squid Squid! Squid Squid! Now the city sleeps beneath the sea Ruled by squids and their deity If you hear the waves and feel a breeze Just pray to the squid and drop to your knees Squid Squid! Squid Squid! A chef in his truck tried to take up the fight With deep-fried revenge served crispy and light But the squid god smirked as it tasted the snack And whispered, "Not bad," while preparing to attack The city's last hope was a science nerd Who built a machine from some junk he’d heard It zapped and it sparked, sending squids to the stars But the squid god absorbed it and shot back in shards Squid Squid! Squid Squid! Tentacles twist in a dance of doom The squid king's waltz ‘neath the pale full moon It whispers secrets in bubbling tones Of worlds it devoured, of seas it owns The cultists scream as they paint the docks In glowing ink, with eldritch chalks A portal opens, the waters churn The squid god grins, now it’s your turn It’s a calamari calamity A tentacled monstrosity The skies are raining squids tonight We’re doomed but it’s alright It’s a calamari calamity An ink-soaked reality Just bow to the squid, accept your role In the kingdom of the shoal Squid Squid! Squid Squid! So now we serve at the squid god’s will With inky dreams and a briny thrill Our world’s been swallowed, the tale is done But under the waves, we’re having fun “The moral of the story? Respect seafood. Or else.” Squid Squid! Squid Squid! Calamari… calamity… calamari… calamity… Squid squad forever... ----------------------------------------------------------- © 2025 The JesterMC