[Intro - Spoken over soft jazz] (whispering) Here in the wilds of the suburban bathroom We observe the female of the species In her natural habitat The morning routine [Verse 1 - Spoken with melodic backing] Six forty-five AM She reaches for the alarm with surgical precision One tap, silenced She rises from the bed like a PHOENIX Meanwhile, I have hit snooze four times And fallen off the mattress [Chorus - Sung] This is the morning show The one that nobody gets to see but me This is the morning show And it's the best thing on TV [Verse 2 - Spoken] She enters the bathroom The door closes What happens in there is a MYSTERY She went in looking like a human being She comes out looking like a MAGAZINE I went in the bathroom after her I came out looking WORSE I don't know how that's POSSIBLE But I have EVIDENCE [Chorus] This is the morning show The one that nobody gets to see but me This is the morning show Katalin in HD [Bridge - Full documentary voice] Now observe The hair flip This is a DOMINANCE DISPLAY When the female flips her hair It signals to the male That he should make coffee IMMEDIATELY And not speak until SPOKEN TO The male complies The male ALWAYS complies She applies the lipstick in one single motion No mirror needed She hasn't missed in FIFTEEN YEARS Scientists cannot explain this The final stage She looks in the mirror Frowns slightly And says "I look terrible" The male nearly CHOKES on his coffee Ma'am you look like a SUNSET [Verse 3 - Sung] She grabs her keys and heads for the door Kisses me once and I want seventeen more She says "Do I look okay?" Every single day And every single day I forget every WORD in the English language [Final Chorus] This is the morning show Better than anything on any screen This is the morning show Starring my wife, my queen, my everything [Outro - Whispered] (whispering) And so the female departs Leaving the male standing in the kitchen In his underwear Holding cold coffee Completely, hopelessly In love (normal voice) See you tomorrow, same time Same channel
