[Intro – Spoken, over a dusty boom bap beat and the sound of a kettle boiling] Yo. So I'm skint. Not "oh I can't afford a holiday" skint. Proper skint. "Checking my bank app and laughing" skint. "Eating cereal for dinner" skint. Let me tell you about it. [Verse 1 – Measured, storytelling, taking the piss] I wake up in the morning, check my bank app Balance says "£2.37" and I start to clap Not 'cos I'm happy, 'cos I'm losing my mind How's a man supposed to eat on a budget this tight? I go to the shop, I'm doing mental maths Can I afford bread AND milk? Or just one of the two paths? I put the milk back, grab the bread, walk away Cashier looks at me like "you alright, mate?" I said "yeah, just budgeting, it's a lifestyle choice" She said "you're buying one slice of bread and a single egg, bruv, that's not choice, that's noise" [Chorus – Catchy, comedic, anthemic] I'm skint, I'm broke, I'm brassic, I'm tapped I'm counting out pennies like I'm doing a rap I'm skint, I'm broke, I'm on my last ten And payday's on Friday, so I'll starve till then I'm skint, I'm broke, I ain't got a bob I'm eating toast crusts and calling it a job I'm skint, I'm broke, it's a British tradition Welcome to the club, take a seat, here's your mission [Verse 2 – Faster, funnier, taking the piss harder] I got a letter from the council, said "your rent's gone up" I said "mate, I can barely afford a cup" He said "well, that's the market, that's the way it goes" I said "the market don't care if I've got no clothes" I've got a coat with a hole, a hole with a coat I've got a phone with a crack and a cracked-up hope I've got a fridge full of condiments, nothing to eat I've got a kettle, a toaster, and a dream of some meat I've got a TV licence I can't afford to pay So I just don't watch telly, I stare at the grey And I dream of a day when I've got enough cash To buy a meal deal without having to dash [Chorus – Catchy, comedic, anthemic] I'm skint, I'm broke, I'm brassic, I'm tapped I'm counting out pennies like I'm doing a rap I'm skint, I'm broke, I'm on my last ten And payday's on Friday, so I'll starve till then I'm skint, I'm broke, I ain't got a bob I'm eating toast crusts and calling it a job I'm skint, I'm broke, it's a British tradition Welcome to the club, take a seat, here's your mission [Bridge – Stripped back, spoken over soft keys] Here's the thing, right. Everyone's skint. But no one talks about it. We all sit there, pretending we're fine. "yeah, I'm good, yeah, work's busy, yeah, everything's sound." While we're checking our bank app at 3am Wondering if we can afford to put the heating on. Spoiler: we can't. So we sit in the cold With our one slice of bread And we laugh. Because if we don't laugh We'll cry. And crying uses energy And energy costs money And we ain't got money. So we laugh. Ha. [Verse 3 – Resigned, funny, philosophical] So now I sit and I laugh at the state of it all I've accepted the truth, I've accepted the fall From the dream of a house, of a car, of a life To the reality of beans on toast and a knife To cut the toast in half so it looks like more That's the trick, that's the game, that's the score I don't chase the riches, I don't chase the fame I just chase the feeling of not being ashamed Of being skint, being broke, being brassic, being poor 'Cos everyone's been there, and everyone's unsure So I'll sit with my toast and I'll laugh at the sky And I'll wait for the day when I don't have to try [Chorus – Warm, layered, comedic] I'm skint, I'm broke, I'm brassic, I'm tapped I'm counting out pennies like I'm doing a rap I'm skint, I'm broke, I'm on my last ten And payday's on Friday, so I'll starve till then I'm skint, I'm broke, I ain't got a bob I'm eating toast crusts and calling it a job I'm skint, I'm broke, it's a British tradition Welcome to the club, take a seat, here's your mission Here's your mission Here's your mission [Outro – Spoken, over fading beat and kettle sounds] So yeah. That's being skint. It's not funny. But it's funny. 'Cos if it ain't funny, it's just sad. And I ain't got time to be sad. I'm too busy checking my bank app And laughing at the number. £2.37. Living the dream.
