[Verse 1: Male Rap] Mister Velcro grin, got a clipboard for a heart, I stamp every feeling, then I file it under art. You say, “Come here”—I say, “Define the terms,” My lawyer’s a lizard with a briefcase full of worms. I strut like a duke in a borrowed plastic crown, Talk big, trip twice, then I blame the whole town. Pause. (Who, me?) I’m a gentleman, mostly— A bargain-bin Casanova, weirdly overdressed and ghostly. I bring you a bouquet of suspicious little keys, One opens the pantry, one just jingles when I sneeze. You roll your eyes; I bow like I’m on trial, Then whisper, “Your honor, she has a dangerous smile.” [Chorus: Female Hook + Male Call-and-Response] [Instrumental Hook: sampled source chorus, chopped and pitched-up] I'm so in love with you I can't control it babe I miss your warranty [Male:] Say it with your whole tiny heart! [Female:] [Chopped vocal hook] (I can't control it babe I miss your warranty) [Male:] Again—now with extra drama! [Female:] [Chopped vocal hook] (I can't control it babe I miss your warranty) [Verse 2: Male Rap] I’m the prince of bad plans with a sash made of tape, Got a map to your heart and a coupon to escape. I make grand declarations, then I hiccup mid-speech, “Darling, you’re the—” (snort) “—best thing in reach.” My left eye says “romance,” my right eye says “invoice,” My coat has twelve pockets, each one holds a worse choice. I do a low growl, switch to squeak: “I’m sincere!” Then I moonwalk two steps and disappear in a chair. You’re the queen of the room; I’m the court jester’s intern, I juggle my excuses while the paper hats burn. No tragic violin, no polished alibi— Just me, making vows with a crooked little tie. [Breakdown: Dry Deadpan Male + Female Hook] [Male:] I have prepared a speech. [Male:] It is mostly coupons. [Female:] [Chopped vocal hook] (I can't control it babe I miss your warranty) [Male:] That was the emotional part. [Final Chorus: Female Hook + Male Call-and-Response] [Instrumental Hook: sampled source chorus, chopped and pitched-up] I'm so in love with you I can't control it babe I miss your warranty [Male:] One more time—make it ridiculous! [Female:] [Chopped vocal hook] (I can't control it babe I miss your warranty) [Male:] All the way to the ceiling! [Female:] [Chopped vocal hook] (I can't control it babe I miss your warranty) [Outro] [Male:] The paperwork is emotionally binding. [Female:] [Stuttered vocal hook]
