[INTRO — CANNON CREWS SHOUTING] "LOAD THE IRON! LIGHT THE FUSE!" "IF IT'S GOT A TENTACLE, IT'S GOTTA LOSE!" KRA-KA-BOOOOM! The gun decks roar! The bloody ocean climbs aboard! [VERSE 1 — THE PIRATE QUEEN] Our green-skinned queen with a scarlet sash, Leapt through the lightning with a cutlass flash! Black hair flying, tattoos ablaze, She chopped a sucker off and yelled, "BEHAVE!" The Kraken waved eight arms in fright, She yelled, "BUY ME DINNER BEFORE A FIGHT!" BOOM! went port! BOOM! went starboard! The sea spat teeth and the crew yelled, "HAR!" [CHORUS — ALL HANDS] BOOM! BOOM! GIVE 'ER A BROADSIDE! Rattle the ribs of the monster outside! BANG! BANG! MAKE THE DEEP BLUE SHAKE! We'll steal its lunch and batter its cake! HEAVE-HO! LET THE CANNONS SING! No slimy bastard gets the captain's ring! BOOM! BOOM! FIRE AGAIN! We're the worst damn thing in the Kraken's den! [VERSE 2 — SKRAM'S CHARGE] Skram in his pumpkin hat ran up the rail, Bit a tentacle twice and called it a snail! "GOBLINATED!" he screamed with pride, Then slipped on a fish and went for a ride! He landed arse-first in a powder keg, "WHO PUT THE SEA UNDER MY OTHER LEG?!" KA-THOOM! A cannon kicked him free! He flew past the mast yelling, "THAT'S MY SEA!" [VERSE 3 — THE RUM-SOAKED ROGUE] The bearded rogue in his crimson rag, Swigged Kraken Rum and waved the flag! Tattooed to hell, with a sabre held high, He winked at the beast and spat in its eye! "YER MOTHER'S A SQUID AND YER FATHER'S A MOP! I'VE KISSED WORSE THINGS AT THE DOCKSIDE SHOP!" He carved through a coil with a devilish grin, The goblins yelled, "PUT THE CANNON IN!" [CHORUS — LOUDER, FASTER] BOOM! BOOM! GIVE 'ER A BROADSIDE! Rattle the ribs of the monster outside! BANG! BANG! MAKE THE DEEP BLUE SHAKE! We'll steal its lunch and batter its cake! HEAVE-HO! LET THE CANNONS SING! No slimy bastard gets the captain's ring! BOOM! BOOM! FIRE AGAIN! We're the worst damn thing in the Kraken's den! [BRIDGE — DOUBLE-TIME DRUMS] Tentacles pounding! The deck splits wide! A goblin goes sailing on the midnight tide! "MORE POWDER!" "MORE RUM!" "MORE BALLS!" "THE CANNON, YE FOOL!" the first mate calls! She grabs the rigging! He swings below! Skram lights the fuse with a pumpkin glow! One last volley — thunder and flame! The Kraken learns every bastard's name! [FINAL CHORUS — ALL GUNS FIRING] BOOM! BOOM! BROADSIDE! BROADSIDE! Eight wet arms and nowhere to hide! HEAVE-HO! FIRE BELOW! Send that big calamari home! BANG! BANG! SHAKE THE SEA! Rum for the crew and the victory! KRA-KA-KA-BOOOOOOM!!! The monster dives! "WHO'S GOT MY BOOT?!" the captain cries! [OUTRO — DRUNKEN CREW] "YO-HO-HO! ANOTHER ROUND!" BOOOOOOM! "...THAT WAS OUR SHIP, YE DAFT BASTARDS!"
