[Verse 1] Doctor said, “Don’t worry, this pill’s a breeze, It’ll knock out that cold with remarkable ease.” Now I’m drowsy, dizzy, my head’s in pain, Wide awake at 3AM going insane. I’m nervous, anxious, hands that shake, Got the tremors like a small earthquake. You cured my sniffles, that much is true… But now I don’t recognize me or you. [Pre-Chorus] The fine print whispers soft and sweet, Like a lawyer tapping to a corporate beat… [Chorus] Side effects may include Everything worse than what you had, dude! Nausea, heart rate out of control, Constipation of the soul! Cure the cough? Congratulations! Now you’ve got every complication! If this is help, I’m so confused — The cure is worse than the disease! [Verse 2] My stomach’s flipping, nausea spins, Vomiting buckets, diarrhea wins. Dry mouth like a desert plain, Stomach cramps in a hurricane. Lost my appetite, can’t eat a bite, But somehow gained ten pounds overnight. Blood sugar dancing the cha-cha slide, My insides staging a mutiny inside. [Pre-Chorus] Heartbeat fast, then way too slow, High, low — it’s a cardio show. Palpitations keeping time, To the rhythm of a medical crime. [Chorus] Side effects may include A fever dream and a rotten mood! Chills and sweating, weak and pale, Swollen ankles, epic fail! Rash and itching, hives on fire, Sunlight is now my mortal enemy dire! If healing feels like being abused — The cure is worse than the disease! [Bridge – Dramatic Breakdown] Short of breath, can’t see straight, Blurred vision sealing my fate. Ringing ears like a fire alarm, Taste buds saying, “This is harm.” Libido gone, romance dead, Tender chest and things misread. Menstrual chaos, hormones wild, This pill has made me nature’s child. [Soft Section – Whispered Like a Commercial] “Ask your doctor if total systemic collapse Is right for you…” [Final Chorus – Big Key Change] Side effects may include Existential dread and attitude! Coughing, sneezing, congested nose, But hey! At least I cured my toes! From minor ache to full-blown war, I don’t remember what I took it for! Next time I’ll just let it bruise — ‘Cause the cure’s worse than the disease! [Outro] I had a headache… that was it. Now I need a pill For the pill For the pill For the pill I took for it. Side effects may include… everything. [epic ending]
