[Verse] I woke up this morning and what did I see Richard the Horned Rat staring back at me In my cereal bowl On my welcome mat Everywhere I look It’s that darn rat [Chorus] Richard Richard He’s everywhere I go On my TV screen In my shadow He’s in my closet He’s in my hat Everything’s Richard The Horned Rat [Verse 2] I went to the park just to clear my head But Richard was there on the park bench instead He was feeding the pigeons Wearing a hat How do I escape this relentless rat [Chorus] Richard Richard He’s everywhere I go In my coffee cup In my window He’s in the mirror He’s on my cat Everything’s Richard The Horned Rat [Bridge] He’s in my dreams He’s in my toast He’s at my parties playing the host I tried to move I tried to pack But guess who’s driving the moving van back [Verse 3] I called a detective I called a priest But Richard’s influence only increased He holds the church He mans the office I see him in the mirror! Everything is Richard! Everything is Richard, according to me Everything is Richaaaaaaaaaaaaaard Just how can this be? April Fool's!
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