[Intro] (Deep breath) [Acoustic guitar starts, light and rhythmic] [Future garage beat enters, shuffling and atmospheric] [Verse 1] Right then, there we were, front row in the sweat-box Sixty-nine minutes of him shouting 'bout the ballot box I’m wearing the hat, I’ve got the badge, I’m feeling the vibe But the air starts wobbling like a cheap telly on a bribe He’s talking 'bout the wall, then the sky, then a lie Then he says a sentence so false that physics starts to cry His neck starts folding, tucking in like a cheap lawn chair Gravity’s having a proper fit, pulling at his hair [Chorus] And then he folded, tucked his chin into his chest A human singularity, put the universe to the test In the shape of a short, fat member, shining in the light The center of the galaxy, a truly horrid sight (It’s a meat-goo-mageddon) (It’s a tan-spray-apocalypse) [Verse 2] Now, I’m standing there, red hat pinned to my head Expecting a policy update, getting a vortex instead The lie was so massive, so dense, so purely wrong That reality snapped like a G-string on a King Kong The orange phallus is spinning, vibrating at high speed A biological engine fueled by vanity and greed And then the pressure builds, like a kettle about to pop I’m staring at the tip, wishing the world would just stop [Chorus] Because he folded, tucked his chin into his chest A human singularity, put the universe to the test In the shape of a short, fat member, shining in the light The center of the galaxy, a truly horrid sight (The front row is drowning) (The front row is done for) [Bridge] [Beat Drop] [Intense, atmospheric synth swells] Then the ejection started, a high-velocity spray Industrial-grade bronzer turning the afternoon grey Liquid meat slurry, lukewarm and smelling of gin Fired from the tip like a fountain of original sin Matted golden faux hair, stringy and wet Slapping against my forehead like a losing bet Under high pressure, directly into my face The stickiest, oiliest disgrace in the human race [Verse 3] [Fast Rap] I’m covered in the goo, it’s in my mouth, it’s in my eyes It’s the physical manifestation of ten thousand lies It’s warm, it’s lumpy, it’s got a hint of cheap steak I’m drowning in a puddle of a billionaire’s mistake The front row is screaming, but the sound is just a squelch As the singularity lets out one final, greasy belch My skin is stained orange, my clothes are fused with wig-glue What a lovely day out, just me, the lads, and the meat-goo [Chorus] Yeah, he folded, tucked his chin into his chest A human singularity, put the universe to the test In the shape of a short, fat member, shining in the light The center of the galaxy, a truly horrid sight (It’s in my lungs now) (It’s in my dreams forever) [Outro] [Music begins to glitch and slow down] [Fading acoustic guitar] Anyone got a wet wipe? Seriously, I can’t get the hair out of my eyelashes. It’s like a crime scene at a mannequin factory. Disgusting, innit? Just... absolutely rank. [End]
