[Intro] Okay kids, wanna hear a story? Yeah! Alright, today’s lesson is about grown-ups who think a lot of themselves. Are you ready? [Verse 1] In the corporate world there's always the same kind of guy, Project managers, directors, "VP of making sure nobody takes my pie". They would sell their children to climb the ladder, they’re the kind to go on a trip with just a little power. One I worked under might as well be called Kevin, A rock could be smarter than he’s been. When he’s not passionately kissing his boss’s ass, It’s because there’s a female worker somewhere to harass. Disrespect, bullshit deadlines, mandatory meetings, The kind of shit that just leads to you quitting. Director? No, a dictator having to cut the tall poppy, So that his boss doesn’t figure out he’s sloppy. A cold blooded killer who’ll order a PIP the minute he stresses, Because ruining your life is easier than owning his excesses. The guy thinks he’s a hotshot leader with a bright future, But he was promoted because he’s a failed contributor. So now he cracks the whip like a good sub-chief Since doing real work is way beyond his brief. [Pre-Chorus] To sum up: it’s not because you have power that you’re powerful. It’s not because you write tickets that you’re useful. If you think you’re better than your delusional pitch, You’ll just end up being a corporate bottom bitch. [Chorus] A little man in an extra large suit. The Prince of slide decks, the Lord of stand-ups. A little man in an extra large suit. The Prince of reviews, the Lord of set-ups. [Verse 2] One morning we woke up to a new manager, Ashley. She spent more time painting her mask than just fucking working. Every day a brand-new face like she’s prowling the alley, I couldn’t pick her out of a lineup, the real one’s not worth learning. Every morning she'd roast us about “needing a win.” If she’d just leave us alone, we might finally begin. Her Slack stays yellow all day while she preps selfies for LinkedIn, Posting leadership quotes like she's royalty trying to look queen-pin. Constantly pretending to understand and invent grand plans, But the only time she impressed me was on her OnlyFans. She acts like she owns 50% of the company’s shares, But all she got is a one bedroom condo and some affairs. I saw her bully a girl who was smarter and nicer than her, Because her bathroom mirror told her she was just greater. The worst thing she’s convinced we all find her awesome, But even the goat I sacrificed downstairs said she’s lonesome. Eventually she left to go ruin some other people’s workday, And the worst thing is she managed to do that for a higher pay. [Pre-Chorus] To sum up: It’s not because you’re the least ugly on the block that you’re pretty. It’s not because you’re called a leader that you can’t be petty. If you think your looks alone are what make you worthy, You’ll end up old and frumpy, home alone with cats for company. [Chorus] A little man in an extra large suit. The Prince of slide decks, the Lord of stand-ups. A little man in an extra large suit. The Prince of reviews, the Lord of set-ups. [Outro] Thanks uncle, that was a cool story!
