Fee Fi Fo Here I Come

FEE FI FO (HERE I COME!) (Intro) (Creepy music box, distant laughter) Fee… fi… fo… Calling for duty! (Radio static) “Sir, what the fuck are you doing?” I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! Ready or not, I’m gonna find you! (Demonic laughter) ONE… TWO… THREE! HERE I COME! (Verse 1) Fee fi fo, got a demon by the toe, Told that motherfucker, “Get the fuck out my home!” Calling for duty, got my boots on wrong, Grandma on my balls, screaming, “BOY, WHAT’S GOING ON?” One, two, three, here I come with a gun, It’s a Nerf gun, bitch, now everybody run! Setting my demons on fire in my mind, They said, “Please calm down!” I said, “GET IN LINE!” ADHD, my brain’s on crack, Got seventeen thoughts and they’re all talking back. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, My ass got rocket boosters, launching past the border! Got tism, little gremlin, running wild, Grown-ass body with a chaos-loving child. I walked into a room, forgot why I came, Now I’m fighting with a toaster and forgetting my name! (Pre-Chorus) (Whispered voices) “He’s coming…” “Who’s coming?” “THE FUCKING IDIOT!” (Beat starts accelerating) Ready or not, I’m gonna find you, Got my own damn demons standing right behind you. Fee fi fo, let the madness begin, Knock knock, motherfucker, LET ME IN! (Chorus) (Massive distorted bass drop) FEE FI FO! HERE I FUCKING GO! RUNNING THROUGH THE HOUSE LIKE A PSYCHO! ONE, TWO, THREE, BETTER FUCKING RUN! I’M A WALKING DISASTER AND I’M HAVING FUN! CALLING FOR DUTY! REPORTING FOR CHAOS! BRAIN GOES BRRR, CAN’T TURN THE DAMN THING OFF! SETTING MY DEMONS ON FIRE TONIGHT! I’M THE REASON THE MONSTERS TURN ON THEIR LIGHTS! (Verse 2) Grandma called twice, said, “BOY, BEHAVE!” I said, “Sorry, Granny, I’m digging my grave!” Not a real one, just a hole in the yard, Looking for my brain ‘cause thinking’s too hard! Got tism, got rhythm, got a weird-ass plan, Tried to fight my shadow, got slapped by a fan. ADHD, I’m a human tornado, Went to buy some milk, came back with potatoes! My demons said, “Bro, we need therapy,” I said, “GOOD LUCK, YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME!” One started crying, one called the police, The third packed his bags and begged for peace! Fee fi fo, who’s knocking at my door? It’s the damn Grim Reaper lying on the floor! Said, “I’m here for your soul,” I said, “GET IN LINE!” Even Death needs a break from this brain of mine! (Pre-Chorus) (Radio voice) “Attention, all units, we have a situation.” “What’s the situation?” “HE’S UNSUPERVISED!” (Maniacal laughter) Ready or not, I’m gonna find you, Got a whole damn circus living in my mind too. Fee fi fo, hear the countdown begin, Three… two… one… LET THE IDIOT IN! (Chorus) FEE FI FO! HERE I FUCKING GO! RUNNING THROUGH THE HOUSE LIKE A PSYCHO! ONE, TWO, THREE, BETTER FUCKING RUN! I’M A WALKING DISASTER AND I’M HAVING FUN! CALLING FOR DUTY! REPORTING FOR CHAOS! BRAIN GOES BRRR, CAN’T TURN THE DAMN THING OFF! SETTING MY DEMONS ON FIRE TONIGHT! I’M THE REASON THE MONSTERS TURN ON THEIR LIGHTS! (Bridge) (Everything cuts out) “Sir, are you mentally stable?” Define stable. “Do you have a plan?” Absolutely fucking not. “Are you armed?” With stupidity. (Silence) “God help us all.” (Whisper) Fee… Fi… FOOOOO! (Explosive metal breakdown) MY BRAIN’S A ROCKET! MY MOUTH’S A PROBLEM! MY DEMONS QUIT! AND I STILL CAN’T STOP IT! (Outro) (Music box returns) One… two… three… Ready or not, I’m gonna find you. Grandma, where’s my medication? (Distant voice) “IT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!” Oh. (Pause) What was I doing again? (Demonic whisper) Fee… fi… fo… (Final bass hit) CALLING FOR FUCKING DUTY!