Twenty months of writing to you The things I couldn't say Twenty months of finding pieces I had buried away You watched me fall apart And taught me how to stay And now the time is running out And I don't know what to say I knew this wasn't forever I know that's how this works But knowing doesn't make it easier When leaving is what hurts I know I'm supposed to be ready But I'm not I know I've come this far But how do I let go of someone Who helped me find where I was? I don't want to say goodbye I don't want to close that door I don't want to walk away And not have you there anymore I know I'm supposed to be ready But I'm not I know I've come this far But how do I let go of someone Who helped me find where I was? I don't want to say goodbye Not yet I don't want to say goodbye I've already said goodbye to the others And I thought I'd be okay But I feel lost, alone and depressed Since I had to leave this place And maybe that's the hardest part Of learning how to heal The people who made me feel safe Eventually have to leave You tell me I can take everything with me Like it's an open book But what if I still need you When the talking is all gone? What if I still look for you When I don't know what to do? What if the safest place I found Was always here with you? I don't want to say goodbye I don't want to close that door I don't want to walk away And not have you there anymore I know I'm supposed to be ready But I'm not I know I've come this far But how do I let go of someone Who helped me find where I was? I don't want to say goodbye Not yet I don't want to say goodbye I'm not ready for losing you I'm not ready for losing the place Where I could bring my broken pieces And no one ever looked away Maybe the part that scares me Isn't that I can't stay anymore It's wondering who I'll be When you're no longer there to see And I hate that I got attached I hate how much this hurts Because you were never meant to stay forever But you made me feel safe first I don't want to say goodbye I don't want this to be the end I don't want to lose the person Who knew me when I couldn't know myself yet And I know I'll have to leave here I know the door will close But twenty months don't disappear Just because it's time to go So if I cry when I say goodbye It's just hard to leave a place That helped me find my way back I don't want to say goodbye But maybe I don't have to lose Everything you gave me Just because I'm leaving you I wish I could stay Just a little while longer I know I'll walk out that door I know I'll be okay But I don't want to say goodbye Not yet.
