[Intro] [Verse 1] I've wrapped the dead in linen, I've outlasted every king I've watched empires crumble, I have seen most everything I crossed the hall of judgment, I have earned my peace and rest So why is there a living god who can't clean up his mess? [Pre-Chorus] I didn't raise a pharaoh just to find him on the floor Playing with his scarabs while his scrolls fall out the door [Chorus] You want to rule the living? Fine. You want to rule the blessed? Do your chores first, darling — Mummy knows best [Verse 2] He said "That's what the slaves are for" — I heard that, by the way I said "The slaves have built enough pyramids today" He invoked the name of Ra, he stamped his little foot I've mummified worse tantrums, darling — give me what you've got [Pre-Chorus] The gods are busy, Ra's got work, the Sphinx won't take your side I am the only deity you cannot override [Chorus] You want to rule the living? Fine. You want to rule the blessed? Do your chores first, darling — Mummy knows best [Breakdown] Clean your room (... have attendants!) I am the attendant, I've been wrapping things for four thousand years— Do your homework (...I have scribes!) You ARE the scribe, that's the whole point of SCHOOL— Set the table (...I am a god!) YOU ARE A GOD, ARE YOU? I AM LITERALLY A MUMMY. AND I SET THE TABLE TOO! COME HERE, YOUNG MAN! ...DON'T MAKE ME RISE! [Final Chorus ] You want to rule the living? Fine. You want to rule the blessed? Do your chores first, darling — Mummy knows best You want to rule the living? Fine. You want to rule the blessed? Ask Ra. Ask Osiris. Ask the rest. They'll tell you Mummy knows best. [Outro] Who wraps the dead? Mummy! Who rules the house? Mummy! Who knows the Nile? Mummy! Who knows best? …Don't make me say it again. [end]
