"Y'all heard about this thing up 'round Mulcray's Leap?" "No? Then let me tell ya!" [Verse 1] Old Pete at the Gutterside Tavern said: He seen it once when the black clouds spread. A storm lit up them cypress woods, And there it stood like no beast should— Teats a-swingin’, broad as brass, Eyes like hail in a whiskey glass. He said it shrieked like twisted tin And vanished once the bolts rolled in. He calls it Thunderteats, he swears that’s right— A bully goat born from electric night. [Chorus 1] They call it Speckleshanks, ‘cause of spotted knees, Or Horny Tom, if you please. No tracks to trace, no trail to seek— Just tales that curl and whisper bleak. But I seen where the wild things creep. And I call it Mulky—from Mulcray’s Leap. [Verse 2] Mae-Lynn down by the floodplain bend Keeps a trailer with her boyfriend’s friend. She said one night while the men were gone, She heard hooves beat like a devil’s song. The walls buckled, the dishes cracked— A shadow rose up, bull shoulders stacked. It didn’t speak, just breathed real slow, Then snorted blood on the old banjo. She nailed shut every window and door— And named it The Mulcray Minotaur. [Chorus 2] Some call it Muttonchops—grizzled and gray, Sideburns spread where its horns give way. Others say Milkbuck—with udder or sack, Snortin’ with heat but it’s leaking from back. Maybe it broke the shepherd’s keep— But I call it Mulky, from Mulcray’s Leap. [Verse 3] Then Big Clem says, “My cousin Jake Went soft in the head for a goat by the lake. Said she smelled like pine and tasted like milk, And winked like sin in skin of silk. Now our kin cain’t meet Jake’s eyes no more, They hush their talk when he walks through the door. 'Cuz he done fucked some beast with arms like a man, And girly parts where no boy ought stand.” Clem don't joke, just eyes his flask— Sighs and whispers the name Sucklejack. [Chorus 3] They call it Beef Mantis, six limbs in array, Torso reared tall, hindquarters in sway. They call it Bully-nanny, both muscle and grace, A brute with a soft side, a doe-eyed face. Don’t stray from the trail or follow a bleat— That’s how you meet Mulky, from Mulcray’s Leap. [Bridge] But listen—Mulcray’s Leap’s just down the rise From where I met HIM in a bull's disguise. Zeus, yeah, I knew him—gold-horned and slick— He tried his thunder-god mating trick. But I don’t bow an' I don’t break— So I lured him near the spell-sunk lake. I cooed and teased, bade him transform— Into a nanny-goat, needy and warm. Then with one last laugh, a sly sleight of paw— I laid his bull-seed to break nature’s law. So now this beast, this shamed divine, Half Zeus, Half Zeus, but still part mine A blasphemy I can’t unsow— And gods don’t clean what mortals grow. So mock it, fear it, send all your hounds— But it’s like my kin... and I’ll knock your ass down. [Final Chorus] Don't you tag it Udder-Man, don't you call it Bleater, A milk-slick trickster or some hungry deceiver. Let ‘em all spin their tales, but don’t you flip your lid— It won’t hurt a soul... it’s just a kid. It don’t want prayers. It don’t want sheep. It's just li'l Mulky—from Mulcray’s Leap. "And Mulky's doin' fuckin' fine." "I guess y'all deserve the back story, huh."
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