I am no more (live Noble Rats + Helles Belles)

Hey now y’all… you know our friends ‘Hells belles”? They’re gonna hell us do a version of the song that got us working together in the first place… its heh about a trip but we dont gotta go far…. Betty, Baby, Aurora we gonna be diving deep? If just to see the universe without you in it Hahaha okay lets do this. Inhale, (recoil), acidic sinus sting [spoken as if unsure or confused] Insidious chemistry,( inorganic materia) Such a small white line to cross here “i uh okay yeah sure” Okay holier than thou now step snort Seek experience of worth And greater import courting disaster The self undone Brace myself and see whats to come… [music feel like its still beginning] ( Die die die die-) Diving deep (deeeep) To see the universe without me in it Worthy risk (risk I) Yes Worthy risk i think (think) (“Sean? Sean? Are are are You okay?”)!! Some one (am i alone?) said said my (said my) my name (yes my name) But that was (seconds unto seasons, unimagined lifetimes?) a long time ago (ago) time (times easin off) I am staring at the ghost images (radiant trails) Of still objects (still objects) unmoving Motion blurrszzzzzzzzzzzz (When) when i forget (who) who (am) i (I?) am!! Whommmmmm Seconds flow so slow (and slower yet) (Until they tower mountainous) I see contours conterminous between tick and tock cannot stop the density The granularity increase In the experience of being this meat I Walk valleys through vineyards In the gaps between words in my head Meander over plosives until silence stitches the thought into islands in syllable spaces “Slower yet Instants are too large to sense scale and scope immense intense so thick The brain’s processing capacity clicks Puts its stream of consciousness Into a pin hole “Sees but does not know” (So sees so much more) Like water flows (oh oh oh) Goes where least resisted Short circuited (work with it Clean slate slick Diminished Its been days but not yet finished (Its been instants in this intensity actually And a this cold sweat sits wet Im losing the capacity to expect The ability to predict No self to self check Empowers an eviction from the human condition in which identity is the first thing lost Ketamine induced purity (severed sense of self) staring at infinity perception unburdened (Hurts me, obviously, But) pain is worth the learnin’ Everything worth knowin’ Requires hurtin’ I was trying to respond when i realized (memory was gone) Trying to recall (anything at all) When i (could no longer) remember What i am (what am i?) Was i thinking? What is speaking? I (cannot recall what i) am Why i am The concept of am The capacity (for concepts ) The ability (to understand ) Memory of (what was lost) Vanished An eye (that does not) see Cannot conceive Needs not believe Cannot be deceived Sees (Sight without sense) To witness without bias or being Stripped bare (Drooling blank distant stare) Eyes glaze over Not gone But not there (not there) not there (Just not there) [verse] I am no more. (Cannot conceptualize) I have eyes that see (only see) but they transmit to an empty set (Cannot realize) I would be afraid terrified wrought (if i could recall) if i could recall (what i lost) Time moves in snapshots the smallest increments (Like reality exists on panes of glass passing before me Unjudged, unrecognized, effortlessly- seen but passing like water flows ) [bridge: dynamic high point feels relaxed like the top of a rollercoaster that had yet to fall] “I am no more” No more (know more) I Am no mote I am no more (know more) No sense of passing time No sense (no process) But not nothingness Just seeing (Lens of perception becomes Entire sum of being) [break: sitar, tablas] [verse] Just as incriminatally as it all left So it returns (appears from ethers) Blink- aware that i exist (Awareness of divison) Ah ah ah Blink- i remember( i am alive) (Temporal existence, time) Oh oh oh (it flows again) Blink- i am human (Hierarchical data structure) Oh k oh k Blink- i can move (Physicality, further division) Blink- i am sean (Sudden identity) Mmmmm Blink- time accelerates (there is movement) (Reintegration into the clot of atom and potentials Of cells and psychology) Hoooooooo eeeee ooooo (All) All a fractal (off the eye) off the eye which does not seeeeeee (the eye which does not see) I awake (genetic knowledge) I awaken something unsettling Unsettling (revealing what i needn’t see) And likely a shadow (a basic know) of what death will be Not fear and weeping (no seeing infinity) But gentle severing of capacity No memory (of identity) So no fear (of its loss) No concept of light (no fear of The dark) [choir] The Deep Deep dark. Kay Holy