Policy For Thee

Verse 1 Manager says we’re having huddles “Team culture matters, gather round” Funny how the leader of the meeting Is the one who’s never found Clipboard speeches every Monday Motivation, corporate tone But Tuesday comes and he forgets it Guess accountability’s gone Pre-Chorus Rules on paper, loud and clear Funny how they disappear Chorus No drinks in the department That’s the rule he likes to preach Meanwhile there’s a Red Bull can Sitting three feet from his speech “Teamwork makes the dream work” Yeah, that’s what the poster said But the only thing he’s managing Is passing blame instead So here’s a toast to leadership With Starbucks in his hand Policy for everybody else But never for the man ⸻ Verse 2 Assistant’s missing from the counter But we all know where he went HR’s laughing in the corner Guess that’s “team development” Tickets stacking, slicers humming Customers staring through the glass But the management solution Is a lecture as he walks past Pre-Chorus Funny how the workload grows While the leadership just… goes Chorus No drinks in the department That’s the rule he likes to preach Meanwhile there’s a latte Sitting right beside his speech “Stay productive, stay efficient” Yeah we’ve heard the corporate plan But the only thing consistent Is the blame shift from the man So here’s a toast to leadership With caffeine in his hand Policy for everybody else But never for the man ⸻ Bridge Oh wait— Did we miss the weekly huddle? Guess the meeting about meetings Got cancelled again Don’t worry though He’ll circle back Right after he finds someone else To blame for it —- Chorus No drinks in the department That’s the rule he likes to shout But the evidence keeps showing What the rule’s really about Control the workers, dodge the mirror Call it “leading the plan” Policy for everybody else But never for the man