CHRIS! [Verse 1] There was a night outside the Church of Sune Jimmy sat alone beneath the moon Me and Sunan said, “If our boy stays out here Then we’ll sit beside him and keep him near” Well the circle kept growing — Anga, Tsani, Mephala too Ossir, Tazar, Cat and Chris all came into view Chris tried to charm us, said he wanted to lead the camp I lit up my weed, I passed it round, but that’s when the cunt snapped (Holy fuck, this cunt snapped…) The bloke was seething, he was enraged Stormed off shouting round the corner like a dog in a cage He pointed upstairs where my poor weed plant grew And screamed for all the church to hear his cue [Chorus] “GET THE FUCK INSIDE, CUNT, GET THE FUCK INSIDE If you don’t get back through that church door, I’ll execute you on sight You’re all making this worse, so leave this fucker here to die Now get the fuck inside, cunt, or I’ll blow ya weed plant to the sky!” CHRIS! [Verse 2] Later in the church, the mood was getting grim Jim sat sad while the whole room argued over him Theo said, “We stick to the plan and deal with Derrick right” But Chris lost his fucking mind and started shouting through the night He called Jim a criminal, a murderer, a stain Said one life for everyone else was the fairest kind of gain Crag said, “This bloke is in the room, he can hear every word you say” But Chris was already storming out, inviting Derrick anyway (Yeah, he already storming out, inviting Derrick anyway) He banged upon the brazier, his voice loud and wild The whole church cowerin' in fear while he behavin' like a child He threatened to burn down the tower, lynch Jimmy up high While he spread his arms and screamed into the dark outside [Chorus 2] “GIVE HIM UP TO DERRICK, CUNT, GIVE HIM UP TO DERRICK One miserable rogue for all the lives that could be saved If he really wants to die, then why’s he still alive? Now hang him from the tower and let the revenant decide!” CHRIS! [Verse 3] One day Cat went up to hassle Theo in the tower where he read “Come downstairs and do your job!” the angry tiger said Theo calmly answered, “Give me fifteen, I’m nearly done this chapter” So Chris climbed the ladder up and brought disaster after He grabbed Theo’s Constructs book and flung it from the height It hit Shane E Lee upon the head and sent him rolling through the night Then Chris grabbed Theo by the collar, held him dangling in the air While Cat waved the book above the bonfire like he just didn’t care (waved the book above the bonfire like he just didn’t care) We watched the wizard hanging there, his book about to burn Theo cared more for that poor tome than whether he’d return Old man wants an apology, is this fool insane? All the while Chris screamed and spat into his face [Chorus 3] “PUT THE FUCKING BOOK DOWN, CUNT, PUT THE FUCKING BOOK DOWN I asked you once politely, now you’re about to meet the ground You can finish that fuckin’ chapter later when the zombies are all dead Now harvest that abomination, or I’ll throw you off instead!” CHRIS! [Bridge] Later on Chris and Cat dragged all the weapons to the floor Slammed them down inside the church and started barking more “Alright everyone, grab a weapon, learn to fight and learn it fast Maintain it, care for it, and pay if it gets smashed” They handed clubs to children who could barely lift the weight Anga said, “That kid can’t raise it,” but Chris would not debate His girlfriend April shook her head, she’d had enough of this Everyone just standin’ thinkin’ “This cunt has truly lost it” [Final Chorus] “GET OUT THERE AND FIGHT, CUNT, GET OUT THERE AND FIGHT I’ve got a weapon for every one of you, and they aren’t fuckin’ light If you’re not out there bleeding, then you’re wasting all my time Now pick up your fucking weapon and get back on the front line!” [Outro] CHRIS! CHRIS! CHRIS!
