Uhm Uhm, la-la [Intro] Here in Waterdeep, it all started, And this time, folks, no one farted! [Verse] We strolled right up to SilverCoin Bank, Thought we’d fill our purses, but it was blank! Out of gold, can you believe? Almost cracked the vault, but had to leave. We made a guard snooze, and fiddled with the lock, But the vault stayed shut, so we walked out in shock. [Chorus] Criminal Chickens! What the fuck! La-la-la-lalla-la-la! Criminal Chickens, wait—or maybe ducks? [Verse 2] Back on the mission, our spirits high, Saw a snake on a shop, thought we’d give it a try! Charged right in, with a warrior’s call, But oops, wrong place, just a regular wall. [Bridge] So back we turned, our pride a bit thin, Finally found Candle Lane, where our quest could begin. Peeking through the window, what did we see? Humanoid birds—Criminal Chickens, who could they be?! [Chorus] Criminal Chickens! What the fuck! La-la-la-lalla-la-la! Criminal Chickens, wait—or maybe ducks? [Verse 3] We burst through the door, swords held high, Time to make some chicken pie! We sliced and diced, with a warrior's grace, Turned those birds to popsicles in the race. One got poisoned, feathers turned green, Another exploded—what a messy scene! But one chicken left, trembling in fear, Ready to squawk out what we needed to hear. [Chorus] Criminal Chickens! What the fuck! La-la-la-lalla-la-la! Criminal Chickens, wait—or maybe ducks? [Verse 4] That last chicken squawked, its beak all a-tremble, "A pretty boy’s hidden, in the back, I resemble!" "Follow the yellow sign down in the sewer, And Xanathar’s regards, let that fear brew’er." But when I heard Xanathar’s name in the chat, My mind went blank, and that chicken went splat. [Chorus] Criminal Chickens! What the fuck! La-la-la-lalla-la-la! Criminal Chickens, wait—or maybe ducks? [Verse 5] In the back, we found a redhead so fine, Thought it was Floon, our search was divine. But then he said, "You’ve found the right guy, But they took Floon when I chose to hide. Now I’ll help you find him, and set things right, Let’s chase these chickens into the night!" [Chorus] Criminal Chickens! What the fuck! La-la-la-lalla-la-la! Criminal Chickens, wait—or maybe ducks? [Outro] [Lute Plucks] Now off we go, Floon’s not yet found, Next stop—sewers, underground. Chickens beware, we’re on the trail, This rescue mission will prevail! [Fade-Out] [End-Song] [Silence] [fade-out] [end-song]
