It started with a wreath — a simple, honest wreath A circle of pine that said "I celebrate beneath The surface of commercialism, tastefully restrained" Then the Garcias lit their roof and everything changed I added whites — just whites, nothing bold By Tuesday the Garcias had a reindeer that glowed So I got a second reindeer, then a sleigh and a Santa, an elf We traded calm for combat on every porch and lawn shelf It's not a competition (It absolutely is!) It's about the spirit of the season (It's about winning) It's the Holiday Decoration Arms Race And nobody's backing down from this place The electric bill's a war crime; the HOA keeps pace But we're lighting up the block like we're visible from space December eighth they synced a nativity with fog and sound I rented a twelve-foot snowman; now everyone comes 'round They projected gingerbread; I hired a choir and a village too We escalated in full — no apologies, just more glue The neighbors grip their phones (They're secretly impressed) The power grid is groaning (And so are we, confessed) I spent four thousand dollars; they spent four thousand and twelve I peeked at deliveries — not proud to tell They have volume; I have placement They have lights; I have taste (maybe) It's the Holiday Decoration Arms Race Every socket, every outlet, every space The Hendersons did a drone show; the Chens an ice rink glaze It's the Holiday Decoration Arms Race — we glow for better days January second, taking it down alone in the rain Garcia's still got his up; I'm putting mine back again
