Verse 1 [soft piano, close vocal] You were soft on Sunday mornings, bare feet, radio low. Burnt toast, blue robe, laughing like the rent wasn’t overdue. [distant radio static] You put sugar on my cereal when we had nothing else to sweeten. Called me your little miracle and almost made me believe it. [voice tender] I loved you at the sink, humming through the dishes, soap on your wrists, making poverty feel religious. Pre-Chorus [low strings enter] Then evening came in crooked, and your voice changed with the room. I learned the weather of your drinking before I learned the moon. [small pause] Chorus [heartbeat percussion, restrained] I have loved you, I have hated you, sometimes in the same breath. I have cursed your name in hotel rooms and prayed you’d answer texts. [fragile harmony] You were the hand on my forehead, you were the door left wide. You were the reason I survived, and half the reason I learned to hide. [voice cracks slightly] I keep trying to forgive you without calling it okay. You abandoned me in pieces, but I never walked away. Verse 2 [piano darker] There were bottles in the laundry, men sleeping in our hall. I knew which ones called me sweetheart and which ones not to look at at all. [voice restrained] [low synth underneath] I was small enough to fit between your shame and their anger. Old enough to know you loved me, just not always stronger. Pre-Chorus 2 [warmer, nostalgic] And I still miss the good days, which feels like treason now. The car rides with the windows down, your lipstick, your loud mouth. [small pause] Chorus [build slowly] I have loved you, I have hated you, sometimes in the same breath. I have cursed your name in hotel rooms and prayed you’d answer texts. [strings swell] You were the hand on my forehead, you were the door left wide. You were the reason I survived, and half the reason I learned to hide. [emotional but controlled] I keep trying to forgive you without calling it okay. You abandoned me in pieces, but I never walked away. Bridge [stripped, almost whispered] I used to think a mother was a country you could trust. Then I learned some borders are drawn in smoke and dust. [soft piano only] Now I pay your bills in silence, send flowers when I’m gone. I don’t know if that’s love or a child still waiting on her mom. [small pause] [voice raw] You say, “I did my best.” We both know it doesn't erase the rest. [strings return] Though when they talk about you cruelly, I go cold enough to bite. No one gets to hate you with my kind of right. Final Chorus [full production, wounded] I have loved you, I have hated you, sometimes in the same breath. I have carried you like a wound and called the carrying respect. [fragile backing vocals] You were the song in the kitchen, you were the broken plate. You were the arms I ran back to, you were the reason I ran away. [music thins out] I keep trying to forgive you without letting you rewrite the pain. You abandoned me in pieces, and somehow I still love you the same.
