Pretty When Paranoid
------------------------- Ella © 2025 @ethereal_chaoscore ------------------------ [verse 1]: I stay in my closet To hide from my problems To pray that they don't read What's on my mind lately Hello again, dear diary Let me tell you what's on my mind lately I've got voices in my head I cry every night I go to bed A copycat and a time limit Threateningly protective parents I don't even know what to do This scares me more than it scares you! [chorus]: I'm pretty when I'm paranoid At this point I have no choice I don't wanna be all woe is me But I'm not aloud, so I'll just scream Every dream turns into a nightmare Cause when I try, anxiety's there I just want to say "it's not fair" "But life never is", that's all I hear! (pretty when i'm paranoid don't care if this kills my joy) [verse 2]: I don't wanna be a deadbeat kid I hate real life, maybe that's just it I don't want to be called ungrateful again I want to be the daughter who isn't a witch I want to be able to be independent I want to be just a normal, simple Christian (But I'm not, I was taught to control my emotions!) (But I can't even do that, cause then I'd feel hopeless!) They give me tough love, which I've gotten used to I can't say anything without second guessing if i'll get screwed [chorus]: I'm pretty when I'm paranoid At this point I have no choice I don't wanna be all woe is me But I'm not aloud, so I'll just scream Every dream turns into a nightmare Cause when I try, anxiety's there I just want to say "it's not fair" "But life never is", that's all I hear! (pretty when i'm paranoid don't care if this kills my joy) [outro]: Always worried when I do something wrong That's why every thought I turn into a song Maybe this passion is obsession when my tears drop But I still can't live without it, there I said it, is that so wrong?
11 Comments
Snake 14w ago
I feel you, Ella :c (At least I think, because sometimes I have trouble getting the message of a song) It breaks my heart, listening to that. I'm so happy Jester found the right words so I don't have to struggle with what to tell you. *Sending you a big virtual hug* I've made a song called "Let 'em Burn" , which I hope will cheer you up a little. Because it's dedicated to you and all of our friends. Much love for you, Ella! 🧡🧡🧡
Z-Money 14w ago
Yo, hang in there. It's a burden that artists gotta struggle to make their craft shine, but take care of yourself, you got folks that want you (on a personal level) to do well.
🖤𝓔𝓵𝓵𝓪🩷 14w ago
I hope so.
Roseofpassion🌹 14w ago
♥️🌹- this hits deep. Just want to say I still see an amazing girl, you are stronger than you ever know.
Random songs 3w ago
I love the melodies you made 🔥😎💗
The Badfatler 13w ago
I'm fascinated by the way you conjured the rhymes in this song. I really dig the simple beat and how it supports what you're trying to say in this song. Great work, Ella! Also, super catchy title. It pulled me in from a mile away.
crkothikar 14w ago
hi
AriteAL 14w ago
Your ringing vocals combined with sweetly edgy trance beats beautifully capture the allure hidden within anxiety and chaos. Loved the ironic charm woven throughout your lyrics—truly mesmerizing✨.
AS_Plushkin 14w ago
ммммм ... немного депрессивная романтика... (если воспринимать на слух. бес перевода) звук просто завораживает))
🖤𝓔𝓵𝓵𝓪🩷 14w ago
sadly, it's not about romance. I wish it was. I really, really wish it was.
Canine DJ 14w ago
Oh, wow really... good song. Sigh. You point it out, I ALLUDE like in my song "Don't Feel So Good". Also have released new Desert Sentinel music, might help a little.😿
Blacksmile 14w ago
N'écoute pas les vois dans ta tête je ne te connais pas mais je sens à travers tes musiques que tu n'est pas une mauvaise personne alors ne les écoute pas vit, vit n'écoute pas les critiques tu vaux mieux. S'ils disent ça c'est qu'il sont jaloux
The Jester 14w ago
My dear, your struggles are great, and I can't ever completely understand them, only you can do that. I can certainly try, and be here for you when you are able to be here as well. You deserve better. You are not a deadbeat. I know what a deadbeat is, and you are not that. You actually care, and have a powerful heart. Never let them think you don't. Never let yourself think you don't. I love you. I wish I knew what else to say, but I don't have enough time to think right now. ❤
The Jester 14w ago
I fully believe that you are a stronger person than I am. You know I never just say things to say them. I actually mean it.