Almost Alive

Nate McG

Alternative hip-hop, experimental gospel trap

# ALMOST ALIVE

[Intro — distant gospel choir, detuned piano, tape hiss, deep atmospheric sub-bass; female voice barely audible]

(Alive... alive...)
(Almost alive...)

[Male voice — intimate, weary, spoken rhythm]

Everybody keeps telling me I'm blessed.
Nobody asks me if I feel it.

[Two beats of silence; distorted 808 enters]

[Chorus — female lead, smoky low register; intimate falsetto rising into powerful soulful belts]

I've been almost, almost alive
Just enough to know what dying feels like
Oh, I tried, I tried, I tried
To make a living out of just surviving

[Choir rises; drums expand]

I keep staring at the light
Like I'm scared to step inside

ALMOST, ALMOST ALIVE!
(Almost alive, almost alive)

[Post-Chorus — hypnotic vocal chops; pulsing 808, gospel harmonies]

Almost, almost
(Alive, alive)
Almost, almost
(Still alive)

[Verse 1 — male rap; conversational, tight internal rhymes; minimal drums and heavy sub]

Got a roof, got a name, got a number on a check
Got a whole lotta people saying I should be impressed
Got a smile for the picture, got a weight across my chest
Got everything they promised, I just never got the rest

Look—

I ain't broke, but there's something I can't buy
I ain't lost, but I don't know where I'm driving
They keep asking how I'm doing, I keep lying
Built a life so loud I couldn't hear the silence

I got good at looking good when it was bad
Got addicted to the things I never had
Every milestone turned into another mile
I learned to fake a heartbeat with a smile

[Pre-Chorus — female lead, haunting; piano exposed; choir slowly opening]

Tell me, is it living
If you never feel the days?
If everybody sees you
But nobody sees the weight?

[Half-beat silence]

[Chorus — female lead; full 808 impact, cinematic drums, soaring gospel choir]

I've been almost, almost alive
Just enough to know what dying feels like
Oh, I tried, I tried, I tried
To make a living out of just surviving

I keep staring at the light
Like I'm scared to step inside

ALMOST, ALMOST ALIVE!
(Almost alive, almost alive)

[Verse 2 — male rap; aggressive syncopated flow, distorted bass, sharper percussion]

I put a price on peace and paid it in installments
Made a deal with every fear and called it progress
Put my pain inside a box and called it honest
Then I wondered why the silence felt so hostile

See, I ain't scared of dying, I'm scared of the delay
Of waking up tomorrow looking just like yesterday
Of being everything that everybody said I'd be
And never meeting anybody underneath the name

[Beat strips down; vocal becomes raw]

They say the scars prove you survived
But they don't tell you what survived inside
I learned to carry everybody through the fire
And never asked what part of me was getting tired

[Bridge — female vocal, fragile and unaccompanied; male voice answers softly]

[Female]
If I stop running
Will the world keep turning?

[Male]
If I stop pretending
Will somebody stay?

[Female]
If I lay this armor down
Will there be anything underneath?

[Male — whispered]
Or just the man I taught myself to be?

[Silence — one piano note decays]

[Breakdown — male vocal, rhythmic and distorted; distant choir responds]

I TRIED!
(I tried...)

I TRIED!

[Full silence]

[Female lead — explosive sustained belt]

TO MAKE A LIVING OUT OF JUST SURVIVING!

[Massive 808, distorted synth bass, crashing drums, full choir]

AL-MOST! A-LIVE!
(Almost alive!)

AL-MOST! A-LIVE!
(Still alive!)

[Final Chorus — female lead, maximum emotional intensity; soaring belts, layered harmonies, male ad-libs]

I'VE BEEN ALMOST, ALMOST ALIVE!
JUST ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT DYING FEELS LIKE!
OH, I TRIED, I TRIED, I TRIED!
TO MAKE A LIVING OUT OF JUST SURVIVING!

[Choir rises; instrumentation opens into warm cinematic chords]

I spent my whole life standing outside
Of everything I thought would make me feel alive

[Female lead — stripped back; fragile but resolute]

I was almost, almost alive...

[Male voice — low, close-mic]

Maybe almost isn't all I have to be.

[Outro — soft piano, choir fading; one quiet heartbeat-like kick]

(Alive... alive...)
(Almost alive...)

[Female whisper]

Not anymore.

[End — abrupt silence]

4180/7500

# ALMOST ALIVE [Intro — distant gospel choir, detuned piano, tape hiss, deep atmospheric sub-bass; female voice barely audible] (Alive... alive...) (Almost alive...) [Male voice — intimate, weary, spoken rhythm] Everybody keeps telling me I'm blessed. Nobody asks me if I feel it. [Two beats of silence; distorted 808 enters] [Chorus — female lead, smoky low register; intimate falsetto rising into powerful soulful belts] I've been almost, almost alive Just enough to know what dying feels like Oh, I tried, I tried, I tried To make a living out of just surviving [Choir rises; drums expand] I keep staring at the light Like I'm scared to step inside ALMOST, ALMOST ALIVE! (Almost alive, almost alive) [Post-Chorus — hypnotic vocal chops; pulsing 808, gospel harmonies] Almost, almost (Alive, alive) Almost, almost (Still alive) [Verse 1 — male rap; conversational, tight internal rhymes; minimal drums and heavy sub] Got a roof, got a name, got a number on a check Got a whole lotta people saying I should be impressed Got a smile for the picture, got a weight across my chest Got everything they promised, I just never got the rest Look— I ain't broke, but there's something I can't buy I ain't lost, but I don't know where I'm driving They keep asking how I'm doing, I keep lying Built a life so loud I couldn't hear the silence I got good at looking good when it was bad Got addicted to the things I never had Every milestone turned into another mile I learned to fake a heartbeat with a smile [Pre-Chorus — female lead, haunting; piano exposed; choir slowly opening] Tell me, is it living If you never feel the days? If everybody sees you But nobody sees the weight? [Half-beat silence] [Chorus — female lead; full 808 impact, cinematic drums, soaring gospel choir] I've been almost, almost alive Just enough to know what dying feels like Oh, I tried, I tried, I tried To make a living out of just surviving I keep staring at the light Like I'm scared to step inside ALMOST, ALMOST ALIVE! (Almost alive, almost alive) [Verse 2 — male rap; aggressive syncopated flow, distorted bass, sharper percussion] I put a price on peace and paid it in installments Made a deal with every fear and called it progress Put my pain inside a box and called it honest Then I wondered why the silence felt so hostile See, I ain't scared of dying, I'm scared of the delay Of waking up tomorrow looking just like yesterday Of being everything that everybody said I'd be And never meeting anybody underneath the name [Beat strips down; vocal becomes raw] They say the scars prove you survived But they don't tell you what survived inside I learned to carry everybody through the fire And never asked what part of me was getting tired [Bridge — female vocal, fragile and unaccompanied; male voice answers softly] [Female] If I stop running Will the world keep turning? [Male] If I stop pretending Will somebody stay? [Female] If I lay this armor down Will there be anything underneath? [Male — whispered] Or just the man I taught myself to be? [Silence — one piano note decays] [Breakdown — male vocal, rhythmic and distorted; distant choir responds] I TRIED! (I tried...) I TRIED! (I tried...) I TRIED! [Full silence] [Female lead — explosive sustained belt] TO MAKE A LIVING OUT OF JUST SURVIVING! [Massive 808, distorted synth bass, crashing drums, full choir] AL-MOST! A-LIVE! (Almost alive!) AL-MOST! A-LIVE! (Still alive!) [Final Chorus — female lead, maximum emotional intensity; soaring belts, layered harmonies, male ad-libs] I'VE BEEN ALMOST, ALMOST ALIVE! JUST ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT DYING FEELS LIKE! OH, I TRIED, I TRIED, I TRIED! TO MAKE A LIVING OUT OF JUST SURVIVING! [Choir rises; instrumentation opens into warm cinematic chords] I spent my whole life standing outside Of everything I thought would make me feel alive [Female lead — stripped back; fragile but resolute] I was almost, almost alive... [Male voice — low, close-mic] Maybe almost isn't all I have to be. [Outro — soft piano, choir fading; one quiet heartbeat-like kick] (Alive... alive...) (Almost alive...) [Female whisper] Not anymore. [End — abrupt silence]

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