Standing at your grave In a cold October rain I mumbled a few prayers Without cursing your name When I turned my escape Toward the warmth of my car I laughed at who I am Remembering what we were I drove away realizing That the darkness inside me Proved how much like you I turned out to be The truth in our silence Was always ice in the rain Too wet to predict Too cold to change Now my children lie to me Like I always lied to you Anything it takes I suppose Just to make it through I dream dreams alone now Believing I am clean But I guess deep inside I need to wake up mean Moments of silent rage Years of private pain Nothing was ever spoken Except the passing of blame Old man… Now I am distant Old man… I embrace no cause Old man… I inspire no audience Old man… I have heard no applause I value each blessing Lesser than each curse The price seems equal But it’s really so much worse I left some store bought flowers There beside your grave They will die like those memories The two of us made Yes, I am now the son I was sure you wanted me to be I am finally you, old man Yes, you are finally me It is easy enough to blame All that happens in the past Everything that stays Nothing that lasts Maybe it was only a passage That was always meant to be That what I truly hated Was just the truth inside of me
