Congratulations

[Verse 1] Tip your hat, clasp your pearls, didn't scream at the cashier girl (wow) Did the barest good and now you twirl — confetti made of moral swirl (Pop the cork!) Posted grief with a coffee mug, captioned "kindness" while lookin' smug Tears for sale in a silver jug, rented empathy, rented rug High-five for the silent vow — didn’t grope a soul, take a bow (He’s enlightened!) Held a door like you built the frame, now you’re baptized in algorithm fame Clout from a whisper, blessed be your name Gave five bucks and filmed the game [Pre-Chorus] Yeah, you light the torch when the feed’s aligned But ghost the march when it rains outside (Yikes!) One act clean, a hundred hidden Favors sold, but the price ain't written [Chorus] (Congratulations!) You did the least And got the feast (Fan that flame!) Swipe for fame (Congratulations!) You passed the test Of lookin' woke while stayin' dressed Signed a cause you never met Painted change with no regret (Shine that soul!) Talk real bold — With silence when the streets get cold [Verse 2] Had your team draft tweets for pride, wore a pin, then stepped aside (Go girl!) Charity ball, invite-only pain, tax write-off in a hurricane Laced your speech with ready-made tears, rehearsed applause between your fears Snapback justice, limited run, sold out fast but wasn’t fun Told a story that wasn’t yours, played it raw in couture stores Call it brave, call it pain — but only in designer grain Double-tapped on a protest post, booked a villa on the coast Told the press you “fight for light” — from your filtered pool at night [Pre-Chorus] Paint the war in pastel blush Dare to care — but never rush (Gloss that guilt!) You're so well-meaning In LED-lit, safe-space preening [Chorus] (Congratulations!) You walked the floor And still asked what the praise was for (Fake it loud!) Stand so proud (Congratulations!) What a feat You changed the world in a tweet Put your face on borrowed grief Touched the wound but felt no teeth (Just pretend!) You comprehend The fire you borrowed from the end [Bridge] [spoken, slow and showy over strings and tambourine] I accept this honor in the name of recycled hope, pre-approved virtue, and my glam squad. I held the line — from the comments section. Thank you. [Outro] (Curtain call!) For the great non-heroes The clean-hand weirdos Confetti for doing not much at all Lights flash red on the virtue train But you rode high through the shallow pain (Congratulations!) Smile and spin Hope they clap So you can sin again.