(Ski did nothing wrong) After the snow melts in Aspen When the tourists drift away Woody Creek keeps right on pouring For all the riff-raff that stays You can get away with damn near anything Long as you stand your ground Folks get loud, and folks get sideways And they never throw you out Ski was working down in Glenwood Running someone else’s place Drove the owners up to Aspen Put ’em on a chartered plane The bosses left for San Diego And Ski was craving fun Thought about heading back to work But the afternoon was young So he dropped into Woody Creek Just to grab himself a beer One beer. Brian and Maz were at the tavern Two ski instructors he knew well One beer somehow found another How that happened, no one tells The bartender poured shots of whiskey She said, “Happy birthday, Ski” He was halfway through correcting her When Maz caught him with a knee “We told her it’s your birthday Free shots for us — don’t spoil the plot” Ski considered his options Then he promptly slammed the shot He did nothing wrong. Brian timed it perfectly When the shot glass hit the bar He snuck into position Gonna make Ski the star Paper plate piled high with whipped cream He caught Ski squarely in the face The whole damn tavern erupted Cheers and laughter filled the place More cold beer and cheap whiskey Kept arriving right on cue Ski was the unwitting victim Of what they'd planned to do Ski did nothing wrong. After some time had passed The boys had things to do They strolled off into the night Leaving Ski to see it through Ski was feeling no pain So he wandered to the back Hustled a game at the pool table And laid some money on the rack Ski was holding his own Moving easy and taking aim Lining one up, back to the ladies’ room When everything suddenly changed Ski did nothing wrong. A racket in the ladies’ room A woman pounding on the door Took Ski a second to figure out What all the noise was for A woman was trapped inside there She sounded like a wreck Ski set his pool cue down And walked over there to check He grabbed the doorknob Gave it a pull or two She kept beating on the other side So Ski pulled harder too The door would not surrender She was raising holy hell Ski planted both his feet And gave the knob a pull The doorknob came off in his hand. A blood-curdling scream rang out And every head turned ’round The bartender spotted Ski Shaking his head and looking down Whipped cream across his shirt The doorknob in his hand A wild-eyed woman charged past Chaos like this can’t be planned Ski tried to tell the bartender He was only helping out She looked at him, looked at the woman And then began to shout You're outta here joker... Tell your story walking How to get eighty-sixed from the Woody Creek Tavern Ski did nothing wrong. Ski did nothing wrong Ski did nothing wrong Ski did nothing wrong Ski did nothing wrong Ask anybody who was there That's exactly how it went down... As far as you know Well... Ski did nothing wrong Ski did nothing wrong
