[Verse 1: Cockney London-accented male MC, cheeky and menacing over the heavy drums and the musical saw] Back room off the Mile End Road, the curtains drawn and red Forty quid a head to have a natter with the dead Madame Delphine on the poster, I'm Del from Bow in fact And I never heard a spirit once, mate, I'm just good at that Cold read, that's the trade, you throw a letter in the air "I'm gettin' a J or a G," and someone's always there Somebody near water, somebody with a chest Somebody loved a little dog, and their face does all the rest Knock knock, that's my left shoe tappin' underneath the table Cold draught, that's a fan behind the dresser on a cable [Hook: Cockney MC, the saw wailing behind him] I give 'em a cold read, fish for a name Somebody with a J, and they all play the game Forty quid a head while the candle's burnin' low Till the cold read me, and it knew what I know [Verse 2: Cockney MC, Halloween night, the drums heavier] Halloween's my bumper night, I'm booked from eight till two Got a widow in a fur coat and a stag do from Crewe I do the J, I do the water, then I give her the chest And the widow's noddin' at it all, she's handin' me the rest So I knock my shoe for Albert, and the table knocks it twice But my shoe's flat on the carpet, and the candle's thin as ice Then the stag lads stop their laughin', and the widow's gone white And the voice that's comin' out of me ain't mine tonight [Voice Inside the Voice: the Cockney MC doubled by a deep pitched-down copy of his own voice, four lines, slow and certain] His name is Derek, and he was born in Bow He's never heard a thing, and the knockin' is his toe The fan is in the dresser, and the J is just a guess And he's charged you forty quid for a dog and a chest [Verse 3: Cockney MC, shaken, the drums pounding back in] Now the stag lads want their money, and I'm handin' it back quick Forty, forty, forty, while the candle's on its wick And the widow takes my hand and says, "Del, love, I'm aware I knew the knock was your shoe, I could see it under there But my Albert always knocked twice, that's how he'd let me in So I'm payin' you double, love, for the second one of him" So I shut the shop on Halloween, I sold the fan and drapes Every time I fish for a name now, somethin' cold escapes Every time I throw a letter out, it lands on Derek, mate And the table knocks twice when I'm sittin' down to my plate [Hook: Cockney MC, every drum in, the saw screaming over the top] I give 'em a cold read, fish for a name Somebody with a J, and they all play the game Forty quid a head while the candle's burnin' low Till the cold read me, and it knew what I know [End]
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