[Verse] I've been searching since this morning Through the kitchen and the hall She says it's right there where it always is But I don't see it there at all I've moved the papers, checked the counter Looked behind the coffee maker twice I'm not incompetent, I'm thorough I have looked with my own eyes [Chorus] Did you check the drawer? Yes, I checked the drawer! Did you really check the drawer? What the hell else would I be standing here for? I moved every single thing inside I took 'em out and put 'em back and more So don't ask me—don't you ask me Did I check the drawer (I checked the drawer) [Verse] Now she's coming down the hallway With that look I know too well Like I'm a stranger in my castle Like I couldn't find my way through hell She reaches past me, doesn't even look And pulls it out in half a second flat It was under one piece of paper Well how was I supposed to see that? [Chorus] Did you check the drawer? God, I checked the drawer! Did you really check the drawer? I've been checking since a quarter after four! I described it, you said "drawer," I went to the drawer Now it's here like it was here before? So don't tell me—don't you tell me That I didn't check the drawer (I checked the drawer) [Bridge] You know... they say a man's home is his castle But nobody tells you that the castle moves things around when you're not looking The remote controls, the good scissors, the phone charger that was RIGHT HERE yesterday They migrate, they hide, they conspire And she acts like I'm crazy But I know what I saw Which was nothing Because it wasn't there [Verse] The tape, the batteries, the flashlight My glasses and my keys The thing I had right in my hand About two minutes ago, please They ask me why I never throw things out Why I leave my stuff in piles by the door 'Cause at least I know where everything is I can't say that anymore [Chorus] Did you check the drawer? For goodness sake, I checked the drawer! Why do you keep saying drawer? Is there another drawer I don't know about, or— I have lived here twenty-seven years I know what's in my house, I fought a war— (Not an actual war, but still...) Don't ask me did I check the drawer I checked the drawer! [Outro] Did you check the drawer? (He checked the drawer!) I said I checked the drawer! (He truly really truly checked) When the neighbors bang the wall and shout "Keep it down, we've heard it all!" I'm screaming to the ceiling! (He's screaming to the ceiling!) I'm yelling to the floor! (He's yelling to the floor!) The lights are flickering out but I'll scream it once more YES I CHECKED THE DRAWER! (I CHECKED THE DRAWER!)
