[Verse] Well, this ain't no sheriff's tower And the little man that Evan sees. Don't seem to be the law In fact he's muttering sorcery. [Chorus] Oh god-fucking-damn, it's a Western magic gunfight! Shootin' over tables, while Spells are blowin' up the night! [Verse] Oh oh Evan picked his shots with practiced perfection. But the wizard landed the first blow, Winging Evan with a wily incantation. [Bridge] That awesome eldritch blast Puts out hero on his ass. [Verse] He's writhing with pain As his six-shooter skitters across the floor. He's scrambling for cover, Don't know how he can take any more. Across the field of battle Evan yells out to his foe. I don't want no more killing, I wants this fight to cease. Wizard, I'm telling you this truly, I'm here offering you peace. The wizard's laugh was deep and hearty With just a touch of scorn. Boy you're dead in this here water, and you Best believe, I won't leave them much to morn. [Chorus] Oh god-fucking-damn, it's a Western magic gunfight! Shootin' over tables, while Spells are blowin' up the night! [Verse] Well with a sound loud and shrill, Like a mighty eagle's screech Evan lets loose a whistle Right out of his front teeth. [Bridge] Oh it was a sound of disorientation Heard halfway cross the nation [Verse] Well the wizard was shook but ready, Thought Evan would rush for his gun still on the floor. But our hero had another plan, He stayed in cover, 'Till something burst through the front door. Oh it was Jetta (oh Jetta!) Black as darkest night. Returning in full force Turning the tide on this fight. [Verse] Evan mounted his steed, Inside of the tower. Now there were two fighters, Exuding incredible power! [Chorus] Oh god-fucking-damn, it's a Western magic gunfight! Shootin' over tables, while Spells are blowin' up the night! [Verse] The fight went on for several hours Across 15 dimensions it spanned But when the dust finally settled Evan had the upper hand! He had disarmed that there bleeding wizard, And leveled his gun. Said in his full 20 years he had to admit, He'd never had so much fun. [Bridge] Well our red-headed hero, he un-cocked his trusty six-shooter. Said the fightin's over now and me I ain't no executer, [Outro] Oh what a desperado gentleman What a goddamed national treasure. That Evan fuckin' Burbridge Never you met a man of equal measure.
