D&D Pub Heroes

The mead is watered, the stew is gray, Drinking all your gold in a day. The rogue can't find traps... the cleric is sick, Our bard is polishing someone else’s stick. Chorus: Drink to the chance that we might hit it rich, That is, if we don't die in a ditch The bartender says, "It’s time to pay up!" We’re only heroes at draining the cup. The Paladin lacks any sort of tact. The wizard is out of high level slots, The ranger always misses her shots. Hunted, haunted, and covered in grime, We found this tavern just in time. Chorus: Drink to the chance that we might hit it rich, That is, if we don't die in a ditch The bartender says, "It’s time to pay up!" We’re only heroes at draining the cup. It’s time to go, or they’ll make us pay. So grab your gear and get out of the way. The bill’s too high and the exits are clear, There’s no use in fighting for yesterday’s beer. We’ll flee through the window or out the back door, Before the town guard mops us up off the floor. One last quick look at the mess that we made, Another fine debt that will never be paid.