There’s a riot in my head tonight Some scream in red, some whisper white I try to line them, piece by piece But every answer makes a crease An unfinished puzzle on my skin Missing parts I’m drowning in Nighttime howls my fears awake Daylight lies, says I’m okay Crazy, crazy — I tell myself, breathe It won’t work — my mind won’t leave Open my eyes — what do I see? Everything What do I understand? Nothing Close my eyes — what do I see? Nothing What do I understand? Everything Can’t stay awake, can’t stay blind Lost in the thoughts I shouldn’t find I’m fine for you, I’m black below Smiling where the cracks still grow I walk on glass, I never show The blood that makes me strong, you know I’m fine, I’m not — I break in two This mask survives, the truth stays blue You saw my face, thought I was brave Never looked down where I was laid I never turned my back away I searched your eyes for words that stay Truths that choked, that couldn’t breathe I thought my silence gave relief I left you space, I left you air But patience isn’t something fair I wait, I wait, I always do While tearing holes straight through my truth You know the joke — “Are you okay?” O for others, every day K stays quiet, locked inside Smile says yes — I’m KO’d alive I’m fine for you, I’m black below Smiling where the cracks still grow I walk on glass, I never show The blood that makes me strong, you know I’m fine, I’m not — I break in two This mask survives, the truth stays blue You saw my face, thought I was brave Never looked down where I was laid I see with eyes both closed and wide Too much truth I keep inside Stories tangled in my head Only I hear what they said I said “I won’t be stupid anymore” But I never learned to close the door I never let goodbye touch my lips I’d rather bleed than let it slip Lost between the dark and light Too awake to sleep at night Too alive to disappear Too silent just to scream my fear I’m fine for you, I’m black below Still standing where the shadows grow I walk on glass, I don’t let go This pain is all I’ve ever known I’m fine, I’m not — but hear me now I’m still here, I won’t bow down If you had looked beneath my skin You’d see the war I’m living in I miss you🤍… The wind keeps singing on the path you chose, So much of my heart in so few words. I’ve always wanted you to smile I’d do anything just to know You never let darkness steal its glow.
