© [2025] Mariebeats4u. All Rights Reserved. 👉 CC BY-NC (Attribution-Non Commercial) ⚠Copyright & License Notice All songs, lyrics, and creative works shared here are the intellectual property of Mariebeats4u. This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Non Commercial (CC BY-NC) License. ✅ You may remix, adapt, and build upon my music; when possible. ✅ You must give clear credit to Mariebeats4u. ❌ You may not use this work for commercial purposes or monetization of any kind. Learn more: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/ [Intro – Picked acoustic guitar + sleigh bells + steel guitar slide] (Spoken, anxious Southern drawl) Well shoot… it’s December fifteenth. Ten days ‘til doomsday. Mama just texted: “You bringin’ someone special this year?” …Lord have mercy. [Verse 1 – Country shuffle, comedic] Now Cousin Billy’s comin’ with his pageant queen wife, She’s a model-slash-lawyer with a perfect lil’ life— And my brother Jake? Promoted twice this fall, Got a raise, new truck, he’s the favorite of ‘em all. Aunt Linda’s gonna grill me ‘bout why I’m still alone, Grandma’s settin’ me up with girls from church she barely knows— And don’t get me started on Wild-Eyed Nicole, She’ll read my aura and diagnose my poor ol’ soul! [Pre-Chorus – Fiddle rising] I need someone charming, Someone steady, Someone who won’t run When my kin get petty— (Okay, we ain’t rich… just a lil’ high-falutin’) Lord, I need a Christmas miracle… Like right now. [Chorus – Big, bright country pop] I need a girlfriend by Christmas, Someone to walk through them front porch lights— Smile big, nod sweet, pretend she’s impressed, Help me survive these judgmental nights! I need a girlfriend by Christmas, Before Billy starts his brag-a-thon show— Someone to laugh at Grandma’s stories, And save me when my niece calls me “old!” [Verse 2 – Faster, fiddle and banjo] Cousin Sarah’s engaged again—make that number three, Uncle Tom’ll ask why my career ain’t “what it oughta be”— “Still doin’ your lil’ hobby?” Thanks for that boost, man, While your kid’s eatin’ Cheetos in a Fortnite clan. And Nicole—Lord help me—with her sage and moon charts, Says Mercury’s the reason I’m alone with my heart— “Blocked energy,” she claims, with spiritual shock, Yet she’s on husband number four and the last one’s in detox! [Pre-Chorus – More frantic] I need someone real, With a heartbeat, Someone who won’t bolt When my fam’ gets nosy— “Egos bigger than the turkey,” amen… I need a Christmas girlfriend, Is that too much to ask? [Chorus – Big, country-rock joy] I need a girlfriend by Christmas, Someone to fake-laugh at Daddy’s same jokes— Who won’t blink when Aunt Linda pokes Into every choice I’ve ever made! I need a girlfriend by Christmas, Before Jake pulls out his bonus check— Someone to play along like we’re in love, And lift me from this holiday wreck! [Bridge – Spoken over gentle guitar + sleigh bells] “Lemme paint this picture…” Christmas Eve, six o’clock— Billy struts in with Victoria like she walked off TikTok. Jake’s kids perform a whole choreographed hymn, Aunt Linda whispers, “Still no ring? Shame on him…” Grandma introduces me to her pharmacist’s daughter, Nicole asks if I’ve “done the inner-child work” like I oughta. Then lil’ Emma—my niece—goes, “Uncle’s single? That’s sad.” SAD? I’m thirty-two, Emma! I got a real job! …And plants! “…Okay, they died but that ain't the point.” ((Sung, rising)) So yeah, I need backup, I need support, Someone to prove I ain’t The family’s last resort! [Final Chorus – Over-the-top, big drums, steel guitar soaring] “I NEED A GIRLFRIEND BY CHRISTMAS!” Someone who can wrangle this wild ol’ crew, Who won’t judge when I stress-eat pie And still say my folks seem “sweet,” not cuckoo! I need a girlfriend by Christmas, Before Nicole waves crystals again— Someone to smile through Billy’s braggin’ And hold my hand as I whisper… amen. ((Breakdown with humorous callouts)) Girlfriend by Christmas! (Billy’s boastin’!) Girlfriend by Christmas! (Nicole’s smokin’ sage!) Girlfriend by Christmas! (Aunt Linda’s pry-in’!) SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THIS HOLIDAY! [Outro – Soft guitar, tired sigh] ((Spoken)) December twenty-third. Still single. Mama texted: “Can’t wait to see you! Alone is fine!” (Sung, soft) Guess I’m ridin’ solo… Again. ((Hopeful whisper)) Maybe next year… [(Sleigh bells fade, lonely harmonica sighs.)]
