I Will Arrive (return to work parody - Gloria Gaynor)

🕒 [Intro – Spoken (0:00 – 0:10)] “Alright… deep breath. Coffee, courage, coping skills — let’s clock in.” ⸻ [Verse 1 (0:11 – 0:41)] At first I was afraid — I was petrified, Thought I’d never face that inbox mountain piled inside. I spent so many nights thinkin’ “Can I still belong?” But I learned how to cope, and now I’m singin’ my own song. And so I’m back — from therapy, I just walked in to find that coffee pot still judgin’ me. I should’ve changed my login code, Should’ve trashed those meeting slides, If I’d known for just one second HR’s “check-in” would arrive! ⸻ [Chorus 1 (0:42 – 1:12)] Go on now — go, walk out the door, ‘Cause I’ve set boundaries now — and I won’t chase you anymore. Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with overtime? You think I’d crumble? You think I’d lose my mindful mind? ⸻ [Refrain (1:13 – 1:43)] Oh no, not I — I will arrive! As long as I’ve got coffee breath, I know I’ll stay alive. I’ve got all my skills to practice, And my crew that kept me sane, I will arrive, I will arrive — hey hey! ⸻ [Verse 2 (1:44 – 2:14)] It took all the strength I had not to lose my cool, Mindful breaths and Post-It notes became my golden rule. I spent oh so many nights learnin’ to reframe the pain, I used to cry — but now I laugh between the strain. ⸻ [Bridge (2:15 – 2:45)] Now you see me with fresh grace, A calmer smile upon my face. I’m not that same burnt-out person still afraid to take up space. So I logged into that Zoom, And I owned my mute again — No spreadsheet can define the healin’ work within. ⸻ [Chorus 2 (2:46 – 3:16)] Oh no, not I — I will arrive! As long as I’ve got snacks and breaks, I know I’ll stay alive. I’ve got hope, I’ve got direction, And a therapist on speed dial — I will arrive, I will arrive! ⸻ [Outro – Spoken (3:17 – end)] “If you see me walkin’ laps ‘round the building, that’s not avoidance — that’s progress.” “I’m not just back at work… I’m back in my life.”