you know it's hard to say, But I think I've lost hope I'm standing at the end of my cross roads Wait for better days, I've already lost those Now I am chilling in the forest where the moss grows I've been waging a war against my darkest thoughts I mean my darkest thoughts It's what I'm asking for What if I said that I can't no more? Will I really expect to see them at my door? I'm in my head like my inner voice Saying what's the point? And they said that I can't avoid it I gotta make the choice If I bled would it bring the boys would they all see red, if I'm dead would they even have regrets? Nevertheless I'm wrecked And in retrospect I wish I wasn't effected but the things they've said I've been trying to convince my head to forget the stress but then I get depressed Felling less than blessed it ain't about the sex it ain't about the pain this ain't about my heart this ain't about my brain It's more than I can say It's more than you could claim And when the clouds come out I'm walking in the rain I wanna forget my name and lose control rolling up some dro I gotta heal my broken soul You know how that story go I'm so done nah like done done This is not fun son what a fucking dumb dumb I fell for it another wayward soul walking out of my fucking life I'm reaching out to friends and they all tell me I should try forget the bullshit and just focus on my own fucking life but fucking why? I don't see no real point, I'm just living for the next joint and I don't mean to disappoint. But I hate my life I bleed more than I cry I need more so I try achieve more than a lie I end up all fcked up and I ask myself why Like really, look at it yea why am I surprised? I'm pass the point of fcking caring but I keep fcking caring even when I saw you last why the fck am I still caring ? but I can't drown it out, even with my music, my music blaring I only looked at you I couldn't let me start staring You have no clue what that did to me like at all Why are you okay with me being in this place ? I'm taking a dose til I can't feel my face I want to disappear and leave them without a trace I just need a quick escape, I'm well over the human race There's nobody who can help me out this hole I feel no worth but I'm burning in my soul I have ditched the thought of achieving all my goals What's the point of fkcing winning when I'm still left feeling cold? I'm a bad mess with a list of bad habits I gotta have it but I don't have the access I don't need anybody sending fact checks comparing sadness all while I'm being laughed at Man fuck what you think of me this is my melody I don't have harmony why are they harming me? I am more than you see I am more than you think Why am I by myself? No opportunities Just people screwing me I've learned pain way more fluently I haven't been able to forget what they do to me I've been stuck inside my head and I'm losing sleep I'm losing sleep And when I sleep I see you in my dreams I'm bursting at the seams Coz you never really leave You're everywhere to me..............
