I was screaming and yelling He was grabbing my hair They were gripping my wrists While was enjoying my fear Fist through the bed frame rage in the air Pulled into the storage room Sat me in a chair Buckle my jaw- locked up my feet Jolts and high voltage in bins under me Hose to the sink wet Screaming In my face, what I'll do next Telling me every move to expect The man who played father for a simple contract A foster care trust fund A liberty check A child with no name His fraudulent specks I remember so much torture This captor called himself father This father called himself right He broke bones that he could fix He scarred skin that he could stitch tight He played an act with them to pull me from my hair in the night What kind of unfair memory gets to rent free in my mind And the criminals they all walk freely in the light Always a hostage that would work for their fight How dare you call yourself family to a kid that you could buy You'll drown in your own lungs when I find you They'd leave me overnight, concrete walls surround Tied my arms behind my back Said don't you dare fucking make a sound I'd chew through the rubber they stuffed in my mouth As the volts hit my nerves and nothing else could come out My trembling excited them He walked slowly closer still They laughed in cluttered unison about how they broke my will Eyes needle point pupils white orbit around it I raised my head slowly, a wet pool dripping from my lip Lights out, they walk out Left in the dark This is where they hardened my heart I'd fantasize about tearing them apart Spit out the food they'd have delivered How dare you keep me alive for this Then call me demonic But a concrete cage in the middle of a jungle Doesn't hear the cries or infuriation A child or teen I accepted this eventually I learned the routine The transfer of memory garage to jungle Shipping containers to docks Rest to flying, rides moving fast They thought it could all stay in the past I remember so much torture This captor called himself preacher This father called himself right He broke bones that he could fix He scarred skin that he could stitch tight He played an act with them to pull me by my hair in the night What kind of unfair memory gets to rent free in my mind And the criminals they all walk freely in the light Always triumphed by a hostage that would work for their fight How dare you call yourself family to a kid that you could buy You'll drown in your own lungs when I find you Practicing interrogation Good cop, bad cop schemes Frustrated with my rebellious nature Shaming me for following precious Prussian dreams And the many survivors just like me We have always been human beings I know it when my head aches, my heart breaks My knees shake, my nose bleeds My eyes roll, my hands try to hold me The worst lie said with a knife at my neck Was that I'd do this for being demonic Your twisted long term trick A reaction forever you wanted I remember so much torture The captors called themselves leaders This teacher called himself lessons They broke bones they could bend back Kangal battles, stitches under eyes Played mafia kings to pull every string What kind of unfair memory gets to rent free in my mind And the criminals they all walk freely in the light They like a hostage that would work for their fight How dare you call yourself protection to a kid that you could buy You'll all drown in your own lungs when I find you Bubbling words not worth my time A step on your necks A chain at your spine This is how I do things right
