OPERATION FEDAYKIN [INTRO — urgent pirate-radio punk] [TANGENT] History hour. [DOGS] Where? [TANGENT] KBP. [GLITCH] Enemy fleet? [TANGENT] One-fifty conventional. Thirty capitals if required. [DOGS] Us? [DEATH] About fifty bombers. [small beat] [DOGS] Excellent. [ALL] ONE! TWO! ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR! [VERSE 1 — TANGENT] Triumvirate leaves Providence. CVA turns round. Towers dying. Jammer coming back. Three-to-one when fleets hit ground. We can win the little fights. We can raid and disappear. But reinforcement timers don’t care how brave you were last year. Stand beside the tower, trade volleys with the blob— [DOGS] And die. [GLITCH] Correct. [TANGENT] So stop accepting the enemy’s definition of the job. [PRE-CHORUS] [GLITCH] IF THE BATTLEFIELD IS ARITHMETIC— [DEATH] STOP DOING THEIR FUCKING MATHS! [DOGS] CAN’T USE THE GATE? [TANGENT] DON’T USE THE GATE. [ALL] FIND ANOTHER PATH! [CHORUS] [ALL] WE COULDN’T WIN YOUR WAR— SO WE INVENTED ANOTHER ONE! NO GATE! NO BLOB! NO FAIR FIGHT! FIFTY CHEAP RIFLES THROUGH A HOLE IN THE NIGHT! YOU OWN THE GRID— WE OWN THE THIRTY SECONDS YOU DIDN’T SEE COMING! THE MIRACLE FAILED— [GANG] THE DOCTRINE LIVED! [ALL] AND WE’RE NOT FUCKING FINISHED YET! [VERSE 2 — GLITCH / fast technical] Trinity gives us Black Ops. Sin-class bridge. Covert cyno. Sixty-one bombers fit through in the test. So build them cheap. Tech-One launchers. Faction cruise. Sensor boost. Damage mods. No implants. One capsuleer per hull. [DOGS] No crew? [GLITCH] No crew. [DOGS] Beautiful. [DEATH] Disposable ship. Reusable lunatic. [TANGENT] Sixty in the breech. One-twenty reload. [GLITCH] Naeel clone base. [DOGS] Get podded— [GANG] WAKE UP! [DOGS] Lose the bomber— [GANG] TAKE ONE! [DOGS] Bridge goes green— [GANG] GO BACK! [DEATH] Cheap rifles. [TANGENT] High-tech delivery. [VERSE 3 — attack run] [TANGENT] Twenty dreadnoughts hit the tower. Twenty-three twenty-one. Rapier cloaked above the grid. Naglfar primary. Bridge goes live. [CO-ORDINATED BUILD] [DEATH] Fifty bombers cross the dark. [DOGS] Warp ten kilometres. [GLITCH] Locks resolving. [TANGENT] Cruise away. [ALL] FIRE! [full-band missile barrage] [TANGENT] One-fifty missiles in the opening wave. Armour eighty. Seventy. Sixty— [GLITCH] And stops. [DOGS] Fuck. [DEATH] Dread didn’t die. [GLITCH] Good. Don’t lie about it. [TANGENT] Snipers arrive. Interdictors close. Overview errors. Bombers burning. [DOGS] Bail? [GLITCH] Bail. [DEATH] Then shoot everything smaller. [CHORUS] [ALL] WE COULDN’T WIN YOUR WAR— SO WE INVENTED ANOTHER ONE! NO GATE! NO BLOB! NO FAIR FIGHT! FIFTY CHEAP RIFLES THROUGH A HOLE IN THE NIGHT! THE DREAD SURVIVED— [GANG] FINE! [ALL] NOW WE KNOW WHAT FIFTY CAN’T DO! THE MIRACLE FAILED— [GANG] THE DOCTRINE LIVED! [ALL] BUILD ANOTHER FIFTY AND TRY SOMETHING NEW! [VERSE 4 — DOGS, gleeful] Tower one dead. Tower two dead. CVA goes home. [DOGS] Tea. [DEATH] Tea. [DOGS] Then I look outside— and Sev3rance is looting. [small beat] Absolutely fucking not. Haulers on the wreckage, scavenger beetles in the field— [GLITCH] Technically reasonable salvage behaviour. [DOGS] I DON’T CARE. Bombers down. Absolution burning. Assault frigates gone. Ushra’Khan collects its wreckage. [DOGS] Now we can finish the tea. [BREAK — reship chant] [GANG] DIE! WAKE! RESHIP! BRIDGE! DIE! WAKE! RESHIP! BRIDGE! [DEATH] No glorious martyrdom. [GLITCH] No expensive doctrine. [TANGENT] Just logistics. [DOGS] And increasingly bad judgement. [CODA — JUDAS GOAT] [TANGENT] One final experiment. [DOGS] Oh no. [DEATH] Bleak Lands. [GLITCH] Pirates. [DOGS] Oh yes. [TANGENT] JFS Judas Goat. Devoter. Armour tank. Web. Infinite point. Cyno. [DOGS] And little guns so Jade gets on the killmail. [DEATH] Naturally. [TANGENT] Abaddon takes the bait. [DOGS] Locks. Web. Point. Cyno lit. [GLITCH] They expect a mothership. [small electronic vacuum] [DEATH] They don’t get one. [ALL — BAND CRASH] DEATH COMMANDOS! [DOGS] Fifty immortal arseholes fall through a hole in space— and the Abaddon disappears. [FINAL CHORUS] [ALL] WE COULDN’T WIN YOUR WAR— SO WE INVENTED ANOTHER ONE! CHEAP SHIPS! BLACK OPS! BAD IDEAS! MAKE THE BIGGER FLEET FIGHT SOMETHING IT CAN’T SEE! YOU KEPT KBP— [GANG] TRUE! [ALL] WE TOOK THE LESSON HOME! THE TOWERS ALL DIED— BUT THE FUCKING IDEA ESCAPED THE SYSTEM! THE MIRACLE FAILED! [GANG] THE DOCTRINE LIVED! [ALL] THE LONG WAR GOES ON! [OUTRO] [DOGS] So strategically— [GLITCH] Defeat. [TANGENT] Tactically— [DEATH] Educational. [DOGS] Fun? [ALL] BLOODY GOOD FUN! [small pause] [TANGENT] Forum response: “Normally I’d mock the wall of text—” [DOGS] “—but this is actually pretty awesome.” [DEATH] Peer reviewed. [GLITCH] Unfortunately. [DOGS] Record club concluded. [DEATH] Muhhahhahahah. [GLITCH] I warned you.
