Customer Service at the Apocalypse (Remix)

[Intro – hold music / soft jazz hum] doo doo doo… “Thank you for calling End of Days Incorporated…” [Verse 1] Your call is very important to us Please stay on the line through the ash and dust We’re currently experiencing higher than normal screams Due to unforeseen reality collapse events [Pre-Chorus] Press 1 for fire falling from the sky Press 2 if oceans have run dry Press 3 if time is out of sync Or stay on the line if you just can’t think [Chorus – smooth, almost catchy] We appreciate your patience in the end of all things Your suffering matters, or so it seems Please hold tight while the world caves in Your call will be answered… eventually [Verse 2 – slight glitching begins] All of our agents are currently gone Either devoured or moved beyond If you’d like a callback, please stay alive Estimated wait time: none survive [Break – distorted hold music] ♪ doo—doo—d—d—ERROR— ♪ “Your existence is very valuable to us…” [Bridge – tempo shift / chaos building] If you are trapped beneath debris Say “representative” repeatedly If the sky is speaking in reverse Please listen closely for terms and verse [Final Chorus – loud, frantic, layered] We appreciate your patience in the end of all days Please do not panic while systems decay Your place in line has been erased Thank you for choosing the human race [Outro – calm returns, eerie] “Your call… cannot be completed… as dialed…”