(Verse 1 — the child) I learned the stairs that don't creak Learned to breathe without a sound Learned the difference between his footsteps Heavy or light, coming up or down Kept a torch under my pillow Not for monsters, for the dark Counted ceiling cracks like sheep Waiting for the front door to slam (Pre-Chorus) Mum says "go to sleep now, love" With a voice that's built like scaffolding Holding up a house that's already Halfway to falling in (Chorus) So this is home Four walls and a hallway light left on A kitchen drawer that's missing knives Since the night that we don't talk about And isn't it something How quiet can be louder than a scream How a family learns to speak in code Just to keep the peace machine running And nobody's fine Nobody's ever really fine (Verse 2 — the mother) I got good at makeup years ago Better than most professionals Concealer for the collarbone A story for the school run mums I used to think love meant staying Now I think staying meant I was scared Of what he'd do the day I left More than what he does in there (Pre-Chorus) He says "you made me do this" Like his hands aren't his to own Like the bruise wasn't a decision Just weather that came and blew through (Chorus) So this is home A birthday cake with candles counted twice Once for the smile, once for after When the guests have gone and left the knife And isn't it something How you can love the man and fear the monster Swear they're not the same person Then watch them shake the same hand And nobody's fine Nobody in this house is fine (Bridge — the father, half-spoken, building) My old man had a belt for a Tuesday Had a fist for a look he didn't like I swore on everything I'd be different Swore it walking down the aisle And some nights I catch my reflection Mid-swing, in the hallway glass And for a second I see his face Wearing mine, laughing at how fast I became the weather I grew up in Became the storm I used to hide from Under a bed, counting my own breathing Now my kid's doing the same math And I don't have an ending for this verse Because I haven't found one yet I just know the cycle's a door And nobody's taught me how it shuts (Breakdown Chorus — the child, grown) I flinch at raised voices in restaurants Apologize for things I didn't do I check the exits in every room Before I even sit down I love people cautiously Like they're evidence, not company Waiting for the version of them That only comes out after dark (Final Chorus — expanded, all three) But some of us got out Some of us are learning what a quiet house Sounds like when the quiet isn't fear It's just Tuesday, it's just peace, it's just here And some of us are working On becoming the last name on that list The one who breaks it, doesn't pass it down Doesn't hand our kids the same old fists And maybe healing's not a straight line home Maybe it's relearning how to sleep With both feet still against the mattress Ready to run, slowly letting that go Nobody's fine But some of us are trying to be Someday Some of us are trying to be (Outro) Hallway light still on Some habits take a lifetime to unlearn Kitchen drawer's got knives in it again Small thing Means everything
