[Verse 1] I want a man who's six foot four With PhDs and so much more A CEO who cooks soufflé And looks like he walked off a runway He's gotta be feminist but still take charge Buy me a house, nothing too large Emotionally available, reads all my moods But never asks why I changed our plans for food [Pre-Chorus] Is that too much to ask? I don't think it's a task Just be perfect, strong, and sweet While worshipping my feet [Chorus] I've got standards, can't you see? Every man should bow to me If you question what I need That's misogyny, agreed! I want romance but I want space Read my mind but know your place It's not confusing, it's quite clear The problem, darling, is you're here [Verse 2] He should earn double what I make Pick up every bill for equality's sake Respect my ex but don't have one All his past relationships? None Open doors but not in that way Compliment me—wait, what did you say? Too much? Too little? You should know! I shouldn't have to tell you so [Pre-Chorus] Communication's key, they say But I won't spell it out today Just read between the lines I draw My expectations are the law [Chorus] I've got standards, can't you see? Every man should bow to me If you question what I need That's misogyny, agreed! I want romance but I want space Read my mind but know your place It's not confusing, it's quite clear The problem, darling, is you're here [Bridge] And if you can't meet every single demand You're clearly not a real man I'll post about it, hash-tag strong How I did nothing wrong [Final Chorus] I've got standards, high and bright I'm empowered, I'm always right If no one measures up, you see Society failed me I want it all but give back less Clean up my emotional mess My contradictions are allowed I'm perfect—say it, say it loud! [Outro] Still single? That's not my fault Men these days... [Exasperated sigh]
