Cucumber is good for you Cut in half it’s a meal for two Eat it on Mondays through to Fridays But never try to eat one sideways Cucumber eater, nothing neater Better than free time on a parking meter Especially in England the land of grand riches Where cucumbers were first turned into sandwiches Monday, Tuesday, Thursday Wednesdays are the ‘turn it on it’s end’ days Friday, Saturday and Sundays are ‘Eat it from the other end’ days Eat one sitting on a stool Eat one in the break at school Helps to stop your perspiration Nasty spots and constipation Eat them when you feeling glad or Solemn Eat them with your grandma on Greenham common Eat one while looking for your phone adapter Eat one for your grandpa in a helicopter Eat a cucumber instead of mince pies You can even put slices in your eyes Cooling you down in a gentle way Like a soothing breeze on a summer’s day Cucumber eater, nothing neater Better than Marmite on Ryvita Cucumber, the culinary winner Have one for breakfast, lunch or dinner Jelly babies, Tacos, Ice cream wafers Feed them to the alligators Better than ketchup smothered on rye Four and twenty cucumbers baked in a pie
