“Bong Water Cold Brew (Resinccino Blues)” [Intro – whispered over detuned slide guitar and a distant percolator] Yeah… I woke up in a bathtub full of yesterday The bong on the nightstand looked at me and said “caffeinate” So I did Mmm, surreal [Verse 1] Two-headed goldfish swimmin’ in the base Lipstick rings from 2008 floatin’ like a ghost embrace I poured it in a mason jar with Folgers from the grave Let it steep two days in the fridge next to the hand grenade The color of a crime scene in a Nickelodeon cartoon Smells like teen spirit mixed with a burnt monsoon I stirred it with a drumstick that I found behind the couch It whispered “Beck, don’t do it,” but my body said “now” [Chorus] Bong water cold brew, baby, it’s the resinccino way Tastes like broken promises and yesterday’s DJ Ash on the rim, regret in the sip One cup and you’ll see God, two cups and you’ll flip Bong water cold brew, gonna curdle your soul It’s the devil’s latte in a very dirty bowl Yeah! [Verse 2] I added oat milk, watched it separate like divorce papers Little curds doing the Macarena with the floating capers Sugar cube sank like Atlantis, never stood a chance The spoon stood up by itself and started to breakdance I took one heroic gulp, felt my third eye cough Saw my future self in rehab screaming “turn it off” But the flavor kept on mutating like a Pokémon from hell First wet ashtray, then pond water, then Taco Bell [Chorus] Bong water cold brew, baby, it’s the resinccino way Tastes like broken promises and yesterday’s DJ Ash on the rim, regret in the sip One cup and you’ll see God, two cups and you’ll flip Bong water cold brew, gonna rot your enamel slow It’s the only drink that comes with its own UFO Yeah! [Bridge – talk-box vocoder meltdown] Filter it twice… still looks like swamp tea Filter it thrice… now it’s staring back at me Filter it four times… it grew a little mouth It said “hey man, clean your glass, what’s wrong with your house?” [Verse 3 – frantic] I poured it in a mug that says “World’s Okayest Dad” Garnished with a single floater lookin’ extra sad My roommate walked in, took one whiff and joined a monastery Left a Post-it on the fridge: “You are now my origin story” Now I’m vibrating at the frequency of mold Selling it on Etsy as “Artisanal Grief, cold” Limited edition, only 666 jars Each one comes with a free existential crisis and mild scars [Final Chorus – full chaotic choir of backwards samples] Bong water cold brew, baby, it’s the resinccino way Tastes like the apocalypse had a baby with yesterday Ash on the rim, death in the drip One cup and you’ll meet God, two cups and He’ll quit Bong water cold brew, the ultimate vibe check fail If you drink the whole thing you’ll unlock the secret level of hell Yeah… (Just clean your bong, man) (For real) (Fade out on bubbling percolator and distant vomiting)
