[Verse] There's a man in town we call Wonky-Eyed Willie, One eye looks straight, the other’s plain silly. He drives down Main with a wobble and weaves, Like a chicken tryin’ to dance on a patch of leaves. [Verse 2] He parks his truck cross three whole spots, Says, "Judge me not, it’s all I got!” Mirrors mean nothin’ when your sight’s askew, Backing up's a gamble, might hit a cow or two. [Chorus] Whoa, Wonky-Eyed Willie, you give us a fright, Steering like a windmill on a stormy night. The whole town chuckles, but we all agree, Life's more fun with Willie and his wild jalopy! [Verse 3] Ran the red light by the old grain store, Tipped his Stetson and hollered, “Don’t keep score!” Mailboxes tremble, fences do too, If Willie’s on the road, better clear the avenue. [Bridge] They tried to teach him, gave lessons at the lot, But his eye’s got plans that his brain forgot. Pedal to the floor, wrong turn ahead, “Willie, slow down!” but he floors it instead! [Chorus] Whoa, Wonky-Eyed Willie, you’re a sight to see, Driving like a squirrel hopped up on caffeine. Folks grab their kids and leap outta the way, But his laugh’s so big, we let him stay.
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