[Intro] One little bathroom, whole house awake— Who’s got the towel? Who’s got the shake? [Verse 1] Mara’s got shampoo, she’s booked till nine, Dad’s at the doorway doing the pocket-watch sign. The hot tap’s coughing, the hall’s jammed tight, Everybody’s got a plan for the morning light. You can wait on a shower, let the water run cold, Put a cap on your hair, let the story be told. But when nature starts knocking with a fist on the door, You don’t say, “Give me twenty”—you can’t wait anymore! [Pre-Chorus] One lock, one latch, one porcelain throne, The whole house lined up, and you’re not alone! [Chorus] One bathroom, everybody’s got to go! Wait for a shower, sure, take it slow. But when you gotta go, you gotta go right now— Can’t imagine one hole for this whole house, wow! One bathroom, hear the hallway roar, “Are you nearly finished?”—“I was here before!” One house, one loo, and a terrible show— When you gotta go, you gotta go! [Verse 2] The little one’s dancing in a sock-foot jig, Uncle Pete’s reading the label on a jug. Somebody’s knocking, somebody’s in line, The cat picked this moment to howl at the blinds. A shower can wait, you can towel off later, But a body’s got rules and it won’t negotiate her. No heroic speech, no dignified pose, Just a sprint down the hall and a lock on the door! [Pre-Chorus] One lock, one latch, one porcelain throne, The whole house lined up, and you’re not alone! [Chorus] One bathroom, everybody’s got to go! Wait for a shower, sure, take it slow. But when you gotta go, you gotta go right now— Can’t imagine one hole for this whole house, wow! One bathroom, hear the hallway roar, “Are you nearly finished?”—“I was here before!” One house, one loo, and a terrible show— When you gotta go, you gotta go! [Bridge] [Spoken] You can reschedule a rinse. You can postpone the shampoo. But the gut don’t take appointments— And the hallway knows it too. [Shouted] Make room! Make room! The clock says move! [Final Chorus] One bathroom, everybody’s got to go! Wait for a shower, sure, take it slow. But when you gotta go, you gotta go right now— Can’t imagine one hole for this whole house, wow! One bathroom, hear the hallway roar, “Are you nearly finished?”—“I was here before!” One house, one loo, and a terrible show— When you gotta go, you gotta go! [Outro] Shower can wait! The rest can’t wait! One little bathroom—and a whole house at the gate!
