“When Was I Enough?”

**[Verse 1]** I learned the shape of your silence, The way you turn your eyes away, I read between every little word That you don't have the nerve to say. I keep swallowing my feelings Just to keep the peace tonight, While every piece of who I am Gets smaller in your light. You call it anger when I’m breaking, Call it distance when I’m scared, Somehow every road we travel Ends with me the one who’s blamed. I keep bending till I’m breaking, Keep pretending I’m alright, But how long can a heart keep beating When it dies a little every night? **[Pre-Chorus]** Tell me, when did my voice Become something you couldn't hear? When did holding onto you Mean disappearing from the mirror? **[Chorus — BIG HOOK]** **When will I ever be enough For the hands that were supposed to hold me? Why do I have to lose myself Just to keep you close to me? I would've walked through every fire, I would've given you my soul, But you had all of me standing there And still went looking for someone new. Now I'm turning cold in the dark, Watching everything we had turn black… Tell me, baby, when was I enough? Or was I never what you wanted back?** **[Verse 2]** You said, *“Don't read into it, She's nothing, you're all that matters.”* But now I see her wearing the pieces Of the future we once imagined. You used to reach for me in the shadows, Pull me closer when the lights went low, Now there's another silhouette Where my place was long ago. And I remember every promise, Every whisper against my skin, Every time you swore forever Like you'd never let somebody in. So tell me why the door was open When you knew what I'd lose? How do you call this meaningless When she's the one you're choosing? **[Pre-Chorus]** And I'm tired of being told That what I feel isn't real. If I'm always wrong for hurting, When do I get to heal? **[Chorus — BIG HOOK]** **When will I ever be enough For the hands that were supposed to hold me? Why do I have to lose myself Just to keep you close to me? I would've walked through every fire, I would've given you my soul, But you had all of me standing there And still went looking for someone new. Now I'm turning cold in the dark, Watching everything we had turn black… Tell me, baby, when was I enough? Or was I never what you wanted back?** **[Bridge — QUIET, RAW]** Don't you know who's standing here? Don't you recognize these eyes? I'm the one who knew your demons And still stayed by your side. I would've crossed a burning ocean, I would've stood beneath the flame, You could've had my every sunrise, Every heartbeat with your name. But you reached for something shinier, Something easier to hold, While I was standing in the wreckage Of the love I thought I knew. And you say, *“Baby, don't you worry, It doesn't change a thing.”* Then why does she have your future? Why does she wear the name You once promised me? **[Breakdown]** Maybe I'm not angry… Maybe I'm just hurt. Maybe I'm not difficult… Maybe you stopped doing the work. Maybe I'm not asking for too much. Maybe I'm asking the wrong one. Because love shouldn't make me vanish Just to keep someone. **[Final Chorus — EXPLOSIVE]** **When will I ever be enough? I'm done begging to be chosen. I'm done tearing out my heart To keep your hands from letting go. I would've walked through every fire, I would've fought until the end, You could've had every part of me— But you chose somebody else instead.** **And now I'm turning cold in the dark, There's nothing left but smoke and scars. You had the one who would've stayed, The one who loved you through the rain. You had my heart beneath your hands, You had forever if you'd asked… But you looked right through me And chose another path.** **So when you finally miss the way I used to say your name… Don't come looking for the woman You taught to live without your flame.** **When will I ever be enough?** Maybe that's the question I should lose. Because standing here without myself Was never really love for you. **[Outro — whispered / fading]** I was right here… You just stopped seeing me. You didn't lose someone who loved you… You lost the one who would've never left.