[Intro: Narrator spoken word only, solo] [voice: female] Oh… my… God… Becky, look at her stack, it is so big She looks like one of those lead devs’ fav’rits, you know? Who understands those devs anyhow? They only talk to her Because she’s got that massive repo, okay? I mean, that stack, it’s just so big I can’t believe it’s so cloud-native, it’s like… out there I mean, gross, look, it’s just so… overbuilt [vocals: male] [Verse 1: Lead vocals only] I like big stacks and I cannot lie You other coders can’t deny That when a dev walks in with an itty bitty CLI And a big repo in your eye, you get sprung Wanna push that stuff ‘Cause you notice that build was buff Deep in the cloud it’s churnin’ I’m hooked and I can’t stop learnin’ Oh baby, I wanna fork with ya And architect ya My tech lead tried to warn me But that stack you got makes me so deploy-happy Ooh, microservice smooth spin You say you wanna get in my bin? Well, use me, use me, ‘cause you ain’t that average loose key I’ve seen ‘em launchin’, to hell with pausin’ It’s runnin’, gunnin’, uptime like a turbo cluster I’m tired of blogazine claims Sayin’ “flat code” is the thing Take the average dev and ask him that She gotta pack much stack So, devs! (Yeah!) Devs! (Yeah!) [hype call-and-response] Has your pipeline got the speed? (Hell yeah!) Tell ‘em to spin it! Spin it! [hype shout, solo] Spin that healthy stack! [hype shout, solo] [Chorus: Lead vocals only] K eight face with an A.W.S. beauty Baby got stack K eight face with an A.W.S. beauty K eight face with an A.W.S. beauty [Verse 2: Lead vocals only] I like it scaled, and big And when I’m runnin’ a gig I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like an animal Now here’s my scandal I wanna get you home And uh, double-up, uh-uh I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout low code ‘Cause serverless parts are made for cloud I want it real dense and zesty So find that massive payload Mix-a-Stack’s in trouble Beggin’ for a piece of that payload So I’m lookin’ at tech videos Wide-eyed rookies walkin’ like pros You can have them basics I’ll keep my systems like big monoliths A word to the thick stack resisters, I wanna get with ya I won’t crash or glitch ya But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna deploy ‘Til the break of dawn Baby got it goin’ on A lot of DevOps won’t like this song ‘Cause them punks like to ship it and quit it And I’d rather stay and play ‘Cause I’m fast, and I’m strong And I’m down to keep deployin’ on So, devs! (Yeah!) Devs! (Yeah!) [hype call-and-response] If you wanna roll in my codebase (Yeah!) Then turn around, ship it out Even white hats got to shout [hype shout, solo] [Chorus: Lead vocals only] Baby got stack Baby got stack [Bridge: Lead vocals only] Yeah, baby, when it comes to tech shmucks Nexmo ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection Three-six pods, two-four nodes, all cloud-ready? Ha ha, only if it’s cloud-heavy [Verse 3: Lead vocals only] So your coworker rolls a Docker Pushin’ Hugging Face apps on a blocker But blocker ain’t got a server in the back of her Docker My Anaconda don’t want none Unless you got builds, hun You can do pull requests or set-ups But please don’t lose that stack Some coders wanna play that hard role And tell you that stack ain’t gold So they toss it and leave it And I pull up quick to retrieve it So Nexmo says it’s bloat Well I ain’t down with that ‘Cause your code is small and your scale is kickin’ And I’m thinkin’ ‘bout stickin’ To the scrawny scripts in the bitstreams: You ain’t it, Null String Give me a stack I can’t resist her Fat merge commits didn’t miss her Some knucklehead tried to diss ‘Cause his code was on my list He had game, but he chose to quit ‘em And I pull up quick to commit ‘em So devs, if the stack is round And you want a triple-X throwdown Dial 1-900-STACK-A-LOT And kick those nasty thoughts [Outro: Lead vocals only] Baby got stack Baby got stack Agile in the middle but it got much stack Agile in the middle but it got much stack Agile in the middle but it got much stack Agile in the middle but it got much stack Spin that cloud, keep the pipeline intact
