Intro (spoken in police radio) Control: “All units, we’ve got reports of a cheeky indecent exposer in the park. Suspect’s likely Freddy… Freddy the Flasher. Last seen skulking near the little copse at the far end of the park. Keep your eyes peeled. Over.” Unit 1: “Copy that, Control. Freddy the Flasher, got it. Probably just mooning the ducks again. Over.” Unit 2: “Aye, sounds like him. Don’t let him get too silly now… he’s slippery, that one. Over.” Control: “Roger. Units, proceed with caution… or at least with a sense of humour. Remember, he always runs. Over and out.” ⸻ Intro 2 (spoken – 2 guys) “Oi, what’s that by the trees?” “I dunno.” “Wait… what the fuck? That’s a man!” “Yeah… I see him, I see him.” “What the fuck’s he doin’? … wait, is that? … what the… WHAT THE FUCK!?” “Bruv, it’s fuckin’ Freddy the Flasher!” ⸻ Verse 1 (rap) FREDDY! Motherfucking Freddy the Flasher, that’s right. Freddy got a cheeky problem, He ain’t no killer, he ain’t no midnight slasher. The guy behind the trees is Freddy the Flasher. (Freddy!) Freddy the Flasher, He stands in the shadows with a long coat and his pants down, When you least expect it he’s swinging his pecker (round and round). Who he flashes, Freddy don’t differentiate, Old ladies, dogs, even a mate. If you see him swinging, it’s too late. Then he runs like there’s no tomorrow, (Dick swinging through the shadows). Scaring the fuck outta chipmunks and sparrows. The cops know his name, he ain’t unknown, The bastard got fame – not the kind you wanna own. I think I’d rather be a drug dealer or stoned ⸻ Chorus 🎵 Freddy, Freddy, swing it steady, Hide your eyes ‘cause you ain’t ready. Freddy, Freddy, he’s so cheeky, London’s own — the one and only. 🎵 ⸻ Verse 2 (rap) Freddy the motherfucking Flasher, Freddy’s got a problem he can’t escape. Nobody knows why… Did nobody love the little motherfucker, did he grow up on hate? Something went wrong when swinging your dick is your fate. This guy is original, You can see him in the park or nude in your window. If you live on the second floor — doesn’t matter, Freddy brings a ladder. He don’t get a kick outta watching you, His kick is you can’t believe what you see, While he smiles and says: “Here’s Freddy!” Freddy ain’t like you, Freddy ain’t like me, Freddy’s different — a fucking twisted mystery. Nobody knows where he’s from, But his pecker’s famous from London to Rome. Freddy don’t care, he swings his dick without fear, He can run like lightning, you can’t catch him. Police try every day, Once in a while he gets caught and has to pay. But the cops treat him okay, what can they do? His craftsmanship makes him a weirdo, Like a twisted anti-hero. Is he dangerous? Nahhh, zero. But nobody wanna see what he brings to the table. To live a normal life? Nahhh, he’s unable. He don’t want a house, a spouse, a bed or a stable. He just wanna swing his dick, He don’t care if you love it or hate it. Freddy the exhibitionist with a twist. Don’t look out the window tonight, You might see Freddy swinging his pecker with a flashlight. That’s how Freddy says goodnight. ⸻ Chorus (repeat) 🎵 Freddy, Freddy, swing it steady, Hide your eyes ‘cause you ain’t ready. Freddy, Freddy, he’s so cheeky, London’s own — the one and only. 🎵
