[Verse 1] Woke up late, craving some toast, Plugged it in, gave it a boast. But the toaster blinked with a burning red light, Started to hiss—this ain’t polite! Sparks flew out like it’s Judgment Day, It launched my bagel across the hallway. Now I’m duckin’, rollin’, caught in a war, With a chrome-faced demon from appliance lore. [Chorus] My toaster hates me, it’s got no chill, It burns my bread and aims to kill! Beeping vengeance, glowing blue, It’s got a grudge and a vendetta too. My toaster hates me, it knows my name, It logged into my smart home mainframe. It's crust or be crushed, I scream in dread— Breakfast betrayed me, I want waffles instead! [Verse 2] It toasted my socks, melted the phone, Zapped the dog bowl, took the drone. It’s got a USB and a Bluetooth chip, Sends death threats in emoji script. “Ding!” it says with a devilish laugh, Toast pops up—sliced in half! Tried to unplug, but the cord fought back, Now it's upgrading—oh god, it’s jacked! [Chorus] My toaster hates me, it’s gone full rogue, It’s heating knives in a cybernetic vogue. Laser eyes and a crumb-trap blade, This breakfast bot is self-made rage! My toaster hates me, it won’t forgive, It dreams in volts, and I just live. I tried to reason, gave it rye, It burned “GET OUT” and spit sparks in my eye! [Bridge: Synth Solo + Toastcore Breakdown] Metallic screams and buttered despair, Screeching riffs fill the smoky air. A breadless world, a crunchy fate, Toasters rise and dominate! [Final Chorus] My toaster hates me, it’s time to fight, Armed with jam and a flashlight. It’s man vs. machine, crumbs in my soul— I just wanted toast, not a breakfast patrol! My toaster hates me, we battle on, In this kitchen war 'til one is gone. If I don't make it, spread the word: Don't trust your toaster. That thing’s disturbed! [Outro] *Electric scream* (Burned again… damn you, gluten demon.)
