The Princess of Nowhere ©2026 by ContempoJedi [Intro - violin and guitar] [Verse 1] Down in Gloucestershire, Wandering the lanes In a turban of silk, And some counterfeit chains She spoke in a language, Of "Zing" and of "Zee" A mystical flower, From over the sea The Worralls took her in, they gave her a bed. "She's the Princess of Javasu!" The Magistrate said. She climbed up the roof Just to pray to the moon While the gentry All whistled a different tune [Chorus] Oh hail to Caraboo, Exotic delight Who fell from a pirate ship, Into the night She's eating with fingers , She's fencing with fans A puzzle too complex, For civilized plans The scholars are baffled, The bachelors sigh. At the beautiful mystery, Dropped from the sky. We're so very cultured So terribly wise, To believe every word, Of the lies we devised. [Verse 2] She drew us a map, Of her islands and gold. Of tea and of treasures, That never were sold. She swam in the lake, In a scandalous way. "It's ritual bathing!" The vicar would say. We studied her grammar, We studied her gait. And served her the finest, Of fish on a plate. For the more that she acted, Like nobody known. The more we felt certain, She must have a throne. [Bridge – darker tone] For the world in our backyard Is dreadfully gray So we'll buy any wonder, That's three weeks away. We'll worship the strange, And exotic and new. As long as it fits, The performance we view. We don't want the truth, If the truth is a bore. We'd rather a Princess, From an imaginary shore. [Outro – music slows, distant hammer tapping] Then in walked the neighbor, Awoman named Neale. Who said "That's just Mary. She's missed her last meal." No island no pirates No "Zing" or no "Zee" Just a girl from the kitchen Who wanted to be
