😇🔥 BOYS IN UTOPIA / GIRLS IN HELL — The Marriage Remix [Intro — old radio crackle, slow male yodel] Scrode-ah-lay-hem… Scrode-ah-lay-hom… Welcome, brothers… Pull up a chair. Love is beautiful. Marriage is sacred. And gentlemen… keep one eye on the door. [MALE VERSE — 1930s Yodel Country, relaxed] I woke up barefoot, coffee in my hand, boys in Utopia, best life in the land. We love our women, Lord knows that is true, but when she says “We need to talk…” we know what we must do. [Male Pre-Chorus] Boot goes tap-tap, heartbeat quick, one little side-eye does the whole damn trick. Be-Whole says, “Brother, hold your ground.” I say, “Aris is coming— turn the volume down.” [MALE CHORUS — warm, silly yodel] Scrode-ah-lay-hem, Scrode-ah-lay-hom, boys in Utopia, but scared at home. Yodel-ay-hee, Yodel-ay-hoo, we love our ladies… Lord help us too. Scrode-ah-lay-hem, Scrode-ah-lay-hom, brave in the street, very polite at home. [RECORD SCRATCH] Wait. What? Who told the women? [TEMPO FLIP — female cabaret/ska enters fast] Ha! Ha-ha! Ha! [FEMALE VERSE — fast cabaret ska, cheeky female lead] Girls in Hell? Baby, please. We built the kingdom, we hold the keys. He says he’s General, strong and tall— I say, “Take the garbage.” General falls. He talks strategy, maps on the wall, three backup plans for one phone call. Then Aris walks in, heels go click— General’s empire collapses quick. [FEMALE CHORUS — fast, punchy] Tap-tap-tap, boys behave! Big brave heroes trying to look brave. Click-click-click, look at them run, husband revolution finished by one. Girls in Hell? No, honey, no. We’re running Utopia— you just don’t know. Ha-ha-ha! Look at them go! Men’s support circle? Adorable show. [MALE RESPONSE — tempo slows halfway] Now hold on, ladies, that ain’t fair. We bring the flowers, we fix the chair. We drive all night, we pay the bill— we only retreat for tactical skill. [FEMALE RESPONSE — fast] “Tactical skill?” He means: “Yes, dear.” “Strategic retreat?” He means: “She’s near.” [Male] We are lions! [Female] At the bar. [Male] We are generals! [Female] From afar. [Male] We fear nobody! [Female] Aris? [Male — silence] … Next question. [DUAL-TEMPO BRIDGE — male yodel vs female ska] [Male — slow] Scrode-ah-lay-hem… love is sweet… [Female — fast] Tap-tap-tap, move your feet! [Male] We protect our homes… [Female] Then clean the floor! [Male] We are men of honor— [Female] Take out the trash and shut the door! [Male] Yodel-ay-hee! [Female] Ha-ha-ha! [Male] Yodel-ay-hoo! [Female] We love you too! [BUILD — both tempos begin merging] [Male] Boys in Utopia… [Female] Girls run the show… [Male] We love our women… [Female] Yeah, we know. [Male] Sometimes we hide… [Female] Sometimes we yell… [Both] But without each other Utopia is Hell! [FINAL CHORUS — BOTH, merged dance tempo] Scrode-ah-lay-hem! Tap-tap-tap! Scrode-ah-lay-hom! Clap-clap-clap! Boys love the girls, girls love the boys, marriage is chaos with beautiful noise. Yodel-ay-hee! Ha-ha-ha! Yodel-ay-hoo! Ya ya ya! She scares him silly, he drives her mad, then five minutes later they’re not doing bad. Scrode-ah-lay-hem, Scrode-ah-lay-hom, two different planets, one crazy home. Girls got the fire, boys got the show, everybody arguing— nobody wants to go. [OUTRO — old radio returns] [Male] Be-Whole… you still there? [Be-Whole] Yeah, brother. [Male] Did we win? [Female voice, distant] WHAT DID YOU SAY? [Male] Nothing, baby. [Be-Whole] Nothing. [All Men, whispering] Scrode-ah-lay-hooooo… [Female] I HEARD THAT. [Radio cuts]
