"Yo... check the mic. Is this thing legal? Probably not. Look around you, man. The world hasn’t just lost its marbles... it’s thrown the whole jar out the window. It’s a madhouse. Absolute chaos under a suit and tie. And listen closely: for every single thing I’m about to tell you, you can get a massive fine or end up rotting in a cell. You’ve been warned." I’m drifting through France with a pig on a leash But don’t call him Napoleon or they’ll disturb the peace. Cross the border to Scotland, feeling a bit hazy Don’t ride that cow while you’re drunk—it’s driving ‘em crazy! And in Michigan, keep your reptiles in check Don’t tie your crocodile to a hydrant, or you’re a wreck. It’s a madhouse, baby, don’t you know? Rules for the high and rules for the low. The world’s a circus and we’re in the cage, Written in ink on a lunatic’s page. In Ohio, I’m standing by the lake with a rope Trying to lasso a fish—but there’s zero hope. In Rhode Island, keep your teeth to yourself Don’t bite off a limb for the trophy shelf. And in Singapore, don’t you dare start to chew If that gum ain’t medical, they’re coming for you! It’s a madhouse, baby, don’t you know? Rules for the high and rules for the low. The world’s a circus and we’re in the cage, Written in ink on a lunatic’s page. Down in Australia, keep the vibes real cold Don’t name the beast before its life is sold. In Souris, the snow is piling up high But build a big snowman and you’re gonna fry! In China, don’t date the girl at the desk Workplace romance is a legal grotesque. It’s a madhouse, baby, don’t you know? Rules for the high and rules for the low. The world’s a circus and we’re in the cage, Written in ink on a lunatic’s page. Tibetan monks need a permit to return Reincarnation is a bridge you gotta burn. In Liverpool, ladies, stay covered and prim Unless you’re selling tropical fish with a fin. And in Israel, Sunday is a day of grace So keep your fingers out of your nasal space! It’s a madhouse, baby, don’t you know? Rules for the high and rules for the low. The world’s a circus and we’re in the cage, Written in ink on a lunatic’s page. In Thailand, feel the breeze, it feels so nice But wear no underwear? That’s a heavy price. Kentucky pocket, melting ice cream cone Texas naked carpentry? Leave the wood alone! In Switzerland, midnight, standing at the loo? If you’re a man and you’re peeing, the cops are after you! "Yeah... just keep walking. Don't look back. Don't blink, it's probably illegal in some zip code. Hey... wait a minute. Is there a tax on lyrics? Am I gonna get a fine for writing this down? Seriously, check the statutes... am I going to jail for this song?"
