(Act 4) SHADOW OF THE GIFT (Sebastian's Soliloquy)

Night has left me for a little while, The sun patrols the sky above, And here I sit, A prisoner of silence, Guarding a heart that dares to love. The room is still, The curtains drawn, The dust performs its slow ballet, Yet every thought returns to him, And steals my hard-earned peace away. David... Even his name becomes a prayer, A candle flickering in the dark. I hear his laughter in the walls, I feel his touch long after he departs. He speaks of forever with shining eyes, As though eternity were made of gold. As though the centuries were gentle things, And never cruel, and never cold. But I... I know the language of the grave, The weight of endless yesterdays. I've watched entire kingdoms disappear, Like candle smoke in morning haze. And every night he asks me, Every night he pleads... "Take my hand. Let me follow where you lead." How do I give him darkness When he was born for dawn? How do I steal tomorrow From one who still belongs? How do I call it love If love demands such cost? If I make him what I am, What beautiful things are lost? The warmth upon his skin... The sunlight in his eyes... Am I protecting him, Or merely telling lies? There was no choice for me. No gentle conversation. No lover's tender vow. Only teeth and blood and terror, And the ending of the man I was. The moon looked on indifferent, As my mortal life was torn away. One heartbeat I was living... The next, I was prey. I remember screaming. I remember begging. I remember reaching for the light. I remember waking To an endless night. And yet... And yet when David smiles at me, The centuries fall apart. The ancient monster disappears, And something human stirs my heart. For one impossible moment, I dare believe it can be true. That eternity might hold a purpose, If eternity is spent with you. How do I deny him When every word he speaks is mine? How do I refuse the dream That haunts me every time? To never watch him age, To never watch him fade, To never stand beside a grave And curse the choice I made. To keep him by my side... To hear his voice always... God help me, I am tempted by those days. Would he forgive me? Years from now... A hundred years... A thousand years... When all he knew has turned to dust? When every face he loved is gone? When every road has changed its name? When memory becomes a cemetery, And existence becomes a flame? Would he look upon me then, With gratitude? Or blame? Would he say, "You stole my sunrise." Would he say, "You stole my rain." Would he say, "You took a mortal sorrow... And replaced it with immortal pain." I love him! There... The confession fills the room. I love him more than life. More than death. More than all the centuries behind me. And because I love him... I cannot choose for him. No. Not fear. Not longing. Not desire. Not even love itself. If he comes to me tomorrow, And still his heart remains, If he understands the darkness, The burden and the chains, If he sees the tomb behind the gift, The wound beneath the grace, [Then perhaps... Only perhaps... I will place forever in his embrace. But until that day, I will bear this silent war. Half of me begs him to stay mortal. Half of me reaches for more. And so I wait in shadows, While daylight rules above. A monster guarding mortality... Because he fell in love. David... If love is truly eternal, Then let it survive One more sunrise.